Archive | August, 2010

“Lazy” might not be the best descriptor.

20 Aug

Alan’s taken the last week off from work to spend time with his kids. Yesterday I joined them for an afternoon at Splashdown Waterpark in Manassas, VA. While I like water, places teaming with children are generally not high on my list of places to go.

As it turns out, my instincts were right: they had to evacuate the Lazy River because it was “contaminated.”

That’s about as descriptive as they would get, but it’s pretty clear someone either pooped or threw up in it. Since vomit would likely scatter, I’m guessing the former was the culprit. Well, my guess is based on that and the fact that I’m pretty sure I saw three turds bobbing along the river with lifeguards pointing at them as we left the park.

Once you know someone has taken a dump in the Lazy River, it’s pretty hard NOT to think about the amount of pee swirling around your legs. To put myself at ease, I persuaded myself that the pools had been treated with a chemical that would turn all pee hot pink (as we were led to believe might happen when we were little), so that I could pretend I was not, in fact, in a large toilet.

Bathroom concerns aside, it was actually a pretty great day. The weather cooperated. The kids enjoyed themselves. And even if what you’re splashing in is pee, it beats a day at the office. Sign me up!

You know you’ve done this.

19 Aug

Last night I was being lazy, so instead of making dinner, I simply heated my oven and popped in frozen Tarte d’Alsace from Trader Joe.

(Don’t know what that is? Then keep walking… nothing to see here folks… There is NO way I’m turning you onto these because they already sell out like mad. It’s like referring someone to your dentist, only to NEVER get to book another appointment again. I’m not doing it.)

Anyway…  there I am all craving a Tarte d’Alsace, so I reach into my freezer, pull out one of the TWO boxes I have on hand (due to awesome planning), and…

WHAT? WHAT THE HELL?

There are MUSHROOMS on this box. (Not actually growing on it – just in the picture.)

But still: A Tarte d’Alsace involves three things: cheese, bacony ham, and onions. NOT mushrooms.

I study the box for a second, then check my freezer – same deal.

All of a sudden it becomes clear to me: Trader Joe’s is filming a pedestrian version of Punk’d – in which real consumers grab products from their dedicated place – only to get home and realize they have been PUNK’D.

It’s like going to the milk section, reaching for your usual suspect and getting home to realize you’ve been duped into buying soy milk.

Well, let me tell you: I can’t wait to watch that video. Or punch the jackass that moved my Tarte d’Alsaces on me.

Then we’ll see who’s been punk’d.

(As a side note, the real term for this dish in France is Tarte Flambee. And interestingly, in Germany it is know as “Flammkuchen,” which to me sounds like the translation should be “flaming koochie.” Unfortunate. Perhaps the Germans have been punk’d?)

If you’re already going to hell, might as well drive the bus.

18 Aug

Now that my place is almost pulled together, I’ve started thinking of hosting a couple housewarming soirees. Not one big party, because it’s kind of awkward to combine five different friend grounds in 1,000 square feet of space. (And that’s assuming people are using the bathroom to socialize.)

Don’t get me wrong – when I was younger, I used to have a “more the merrier” outlook, and I loved combining my friends for events. As we’ve gotten older, however, I’ve realized that people are kind of set in their ways and usually only talk about a) their jobs, b) their kids, or c) their common acquaintances. So it makes it awkward to combine multiple social circles in a space that doesn’t have enough separate seating areas to house them all. Alas, the separate shindigs.

Anyway… this morning I pulled together the list for a reunion of friends who all know each other from our days at e-staff, and headed to evite to craft an invitation for a “pick the paint” party. (Since it’s by far my most creative and gayest circle of friends, I figured it would be my best shot at getting some diverse opinions on what colors to paint my walls.)

And yet, for whatever reason, I could not stop choosing religious themed Evite designs. Specifically, this is the one I was drawn to:

I kept getting the giggles, thinking how random it would be for my friends to receive an invite to a housewarming party in which I suggest that we might pray on which colors would work with my furniture.

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Let the Droid v. iPhone battle begin.

17 Aug

Disclaimer: this is pretty funny, but there are a lot of f*bombs:

About a year ago, I converted to the dark side and dropped Verizon so I could get an iPhone. I know there are studies that talk about the “consumer treadmill” and how new gadgets or shopping sprees provide but a fleeting moment of happiness. In general, I agree. But not when it comes to my iPhone. I love it.

I am as happy with – and as excited by – my iPhone today as I was when I first fetched it on that hot day last August. (Same could be said about Alan, with whom I’m celebrating the year anniversary of our first date today, but I didn’t exactly “fetch” him, so…)

I still marvel that one device has allowed me all the functionality of a laptop, iPod, cell phone, day planner, digital camera, flash drive, Nintendo DS… AND I can use it to check-in at the airport instead of printing a ticket. How awesome is that?

I’m thinking about my phone because Alan just got a Droid today. I’m already anticipating a blog entry from him that spews excitement as he claims his new phone can do pretty much everything under the sun, including rub his back and clean his kitchen. At least, that’s how I felt about my phone, and I’m only a fraction as excitable by tech toys as he is. (And honestly, I think I will do a backflip if it CAN rub his back and clean his kitchen.)

As an odd side note while I’m thinking about my  phone: I have only ever taken the cover off it once.

(Have I mentioned that I’m OCD?)

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Restaurant Review – Chicago: Bin 36

16 Aug

Don't mind if I do...

Two weeks ago in Chicago, Brian, Mags and I headed out for dinner with nary a plan. Since I’m there a couple times each month, they eyed me expectantly. I caved under the pressure.

My first thought was to take them to Pop’s Champagne, which I first tried a year ago with my friend Karen using a couple Groupons. It’s a great champagne bar with a light tasting menu and would’ve been perfect since we’re all winos, but Brian was whining that his dogs were barking since I’d paraded him all over the downtown area in dress shoes the night before.

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