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I blame the internet for making me dumb and callous.

24 Aug

One of my friends shared the link to this story via Facebook.

Please take three minutes and read it, so you understand why I’m rolling on the floor while I type. (And yes, I recognize that sexual predators are NOT a laughing matter. What? Do I have your attention NOW? See why you need to read it?)

If you haven’t yet read it, let me offer a visual teaser:

Classic: Business up front, party in the rear.

My thoughts – in no particular order:

Nothing like someone who self-identifies as a pervert. If only he would lose the mustache and mullet, people might not cross the street when they see him coming. And he might actually get to finish a massage without someone asking to see his credentials.

That is a cocky smile for a mug shot, no? It’s because deep down, he knows that the policeman who arrested him thinks his plan was somewhat brilliant. I mean: posing as a masseuse and wandering around a movie set? How many men across America are slapping their foreheads, wishing they had thought of this themselves? Answer: All of them.

And please tell me you appreciate the irony here… The movie that was being filmed was called “Touchback.” Apparently this man took that literally. But who can blame him, with a last name like “Ketchapaw,” it’s almost like he was fulfilling his destiny.

Finally, since I’m already going to hell for finding humor in tragedy, let me leave you with this story, which is NOT AT ALL funny, except for the neighbor’s comment of “whoa!” and the fact that the cat had been seasoned and the  idea that the male cat was pregnant:

Sorry, PETA.