That’s not gonna earn you a tip, kid.

16 Feb

Tonight I whipped in a take-out place to grab dinner so I could get some work done in my hotel room. The kid ringing up my order had a total Justin Bieber haircut (old school, not current) and appeared to be about two months older than the legal employment age (16.2?).

After I ordered a personal pizza, he said, “Would you like some bread and butter with that?”

I shook my head. He said, “Right? Isn’t that the most awkward thing to ask? Like – dude – you just ordered a pizza. Do you want some MORE bread with that?”

I agreed. “Exactly. Do you want some carbs to go with your carbs? No? Then how ’bout just a side of carbs?”

We were cracking up and for a split second I forgot our twenty year age difference and was willing to consider him a peer.

That is, until he took my credit card and said, “Whoa. This card is really funky. What kind is it?”

“Ann Taylor Loft,” I replied.

He nodded. “I know that store…”

Then, after a pause, he added, “Yeah. My mom shops there.”

…And… Scene…

Thanks, kid. Now go buy yourself some Noxema and finish your homework.

18 Responses to “That’s not gonna earn you a tip, kid.”

  1. skippingstones February 16, 2012 at 10:47 pm #

    Oh yes, I have those moments all the time. Only, as a retail manager, I’m on the other side of the counter.

  2. kpchicken February 16, 2012 at 10:54 pm #

    It’s easy to give up on kids today until you remember that we were raised with tassels and hair bands.

    They’ll figure it out… we did.

  3. twocentsplus February 17, 2012 at 12:47 am #

    hilarious! i have those moments far too often…

  4. Tin Roof Press February 17, 2012 at 4:45 am #

    hahahaha that cracked me up.

  5. Alicia February 17, 2012 at 9:37 am #

    Cook it, cougar.

  6. Alicia February 17, 2012 at 9:39 am #

    I MEANT, “Cool it, cougar.”

    • pithypants February 17, 2012 at 10:22 am #

      No. I think I’m going to stick with your original advice and cook it.

  7. John February 17, 2012 at 9:43 am #

    The cold, hard slap of reality. lol

  8. Jeanna February 17, 2012 at 11:07 am #

    I made a friend the other day at work… he’s an intern… we were laughing and joking… until we (work at the Missile Defense Agency for the Department of Defense) went into threatcon Delta… and he says, “we’ve never been in Delta before, that’s scary.”… I said… “Sure we were on September 11″…. He responds with, “oh… I don’t remember that, I was 12.”….Friendship terminated.

    • pithypants February 19, 2012 at 6:54 pm #

      Holy smokes. Now THAT makes me feel old. I thought it was bad when someone didn’t remember Challenger blowing up. Sigh.

  9. squirrel circus February 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm #

    Ouch – that hurts. Have you been called ma’am yet? It’s only happened to me a few times, but it’s “heartbreaking”….

  10. thesinglecell February 17, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    Ohhhh, snap. And you know what? During that pause between “I know that store” and “My mom shops there,” he was probably thinking, “Should I tell her my mom shops there?” And then he decided to go ahead and say it. Right there, that’s where you have your problem.

    I get called “ma’am” a lot. The first time it happened was when I was eight-freaking-teen. I’m pretty sure I was younger than the gas station attendant who was calling me “ma’am” at the time. When I was younger, I looked old for my age. Now (blessedly), it seems to have reversed, but I still get called “ma’am.” For some reason, it only bothers me when someone younger than me says it.

    • pithypants February 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

      Yes. I’ve gotten the ma’am thing too. It’s depressing. Though I will admit, I think someone’s trying too hard when they card me in a restaurant. I’m like – really? You think a 20 year old would have this many grey hairs?

  11. dribblingpensioner February 17, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

    Its a sign that age is greeping up 😆

  12. Natalie February 19, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    I wear clothes from loft… And I’m 24! ( although I look like I am still 16). I am not sure what that says about my fashion choices but I teach elementary school- I’ll blame it on that :)… Feel good that people younger than you also shop there!

    • pithypants February 19, 2012 at 6:51 pm #

      Whew! Thanks for the validation. I do still occasionally get carded when I buy alcohol, so that also makes me fee a bit better.

  13. totsymae1011 February 21, 2012 at 11:56 pm #

    How quickly they make us remember.

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