He sees you when you’re sleeping. Or outsources it to a very lazy elf.

15 Dec

"And this, Bobby, is why you should never sleep naked." Creepy indeed.

Since I don’t have kids, I’d never heard of “Elf on a Shelf” until I read my friend Amy’s Facebook status the other night, in which she stated, “I don’t know if we’re organized enough to do Elf on a Shelf this year.”

Apparently “Elf on a Shelf” is a kid’s book that comes with a stuffed elf. The premise is that every night in December he flies to the North Pole and reports your behavior that day to Santa. AWESOME.

So much more effective than hollow reminders that Santa can see you when you’re sleeping or awake. Any rightfully cynical child these days will say, “Doubtful. The dude only has two eyes.” This elf is infinitely more plausible. And the thing that lends credibility? He is in a different place every morning to demonstrate that he left over night.

Except – and here’s what I REALLY like about “Elf on a Shelf,” – it seems that most of Amy’s friends are struggling to remember to move the elf. So the kids are growing suspicious. Or it’s forcing the parents to lie. (Which, I’d like to remind them: Santa KNOWS.)

I was laughing out loud (LOL’ing, if you will) as I read her friends’ comments, which tended to either offer advice or admissions of guilt.

For those seeking advice, we have the following tips:

I set the alarm on my phone at night to remind us to do it. UGH!

I email myself every night to remember!

And the admissions of guilt:

Our elf tends to spend 2 days in the same location. 😦

I’m terrible at it too! but, I’m becoming a better liar/storyteller as to why he doesn’t move. 😉

And by far the BEST response, which makes me want to call a publisher and get this girl a book deal to write the sequel to “Elf on a Shelf.”

We have had Elf for 3 years…this year is the first year I have forgotten…and I’ve done it multiple times….so I played it off like he is “crazy” this year….somethings wrong with him. I.E he ended up in the fridge, upside down in a stocking, half in half out of the front door, stuck on a fan blade while it is spinning. 🙂

I love that not only are these kids being watched by an elf, but they are being watched by an elf that is so mentally unstable he’s half suicidal. And you know what? Even if you’re good, he’s probably going to make up some shit to tell Santa, UNLESS you actively bribe him. Or, you might need to learn CPR because next trip back might land him in the liquor cabinet, face down in a puddle of whisky. With this guy, you just never know.

I love it. I’m just mad I didn’t come up with the concept. It’s like Flat Stanley, but with the power of mind control.

And after all, isn’t that what Christmas is really about? One month where adults are allowed to lie and kids are actually responsive to fear-based behavior management. T’is the season!

Advertisements

One Response to “He sees you when you’re sleeping. Or outsources it to a very lazy elf.”

  1. Karen December 16, 2010 at 12:04 am #

    At work (911) a lot of people tell the kids who call in playing on the phone or pranking that we have a direct connection to Santa and they’d better watch out. Apparently works fairly well on the little ones although an older child did say “Tell him. I’m not scared of that fat f***.” That kid needs a battalion of elves.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: