Archive | 6:00 pm

I’ll take “Witch’s Tit” for $500, Alex.

7 Dec

After a gloriously warm fall, winter has finally arrived in DC. It’s COLD outside.

Walking to yoga last night, I found myself exclaiming, “It’s colder than a witch’s tit!” to pretty much everyone who made eye contact with me. Based on the looks I received, I’m going to stick with that greeting all year round. Seems like it could be a real conversation starter.

When Alan and I headed out to dinner, I told him I’d changed my Facebook status to “I’ll take ‘witch’s tit’ for $500, Alex.”

Instead of laughing, he just nodded and said, “Except it should’ve been titty. The phrase is colder than a witch’s titty.

First: Not where I come from.

Second: Really? An entymological discussion of “witch’s titty?”

Naturally, I ignored his correction and continued, “I was a little disappointed. I thought people would post responses in the form of a question, like Jeopardy.”

In my world, acceptable responses would have been:

  • What phrase best describes the temperature in Washington right now?
  • Where might a topless bar run by wizards be called?
  • Where might one find a witch baby suckling?

Or, what is something I might tell you to suck if you refuse to play my reindeer games with me?