Three Reasons I don’t use Google AdSense to Make Money

4 Aug
  1. I don’t have enough people reading my blog to commoditize it. I’m pretty sure I would earn – at best – pennies each month with my current traffic. The last time I made that little money was when I was in fourth grade and my dad paid me to a) monitor the protozoa growing in test tubes in our basement, or b) read off the letter grades from his grade book to him so he could enter them into a complicated database he had built on our Apple IIE to compute students’ final grades automatically. (You can bet your ass there will be a separate post about those money-making ventures – along with my days hocking veggies out of my wagon, throwing ground chuck out a window at a homeless dog or sorting Biology II lab drawings according to artistic skill – all for my financial enrichment.)
  2. I don’t like looking at ads.
  3. And most importantly… I’m pretty sure the logarithm that Google uses to match ads to content based on key words would serve up a dose of Truth I’m not quite willing to face, as evidenced by Alan’s friend’s blog, which featured the following ad sandwiched between a post about his new house and another about breasts:

As a side note, I’d like to point out that this was his LAST post on this blog, dated October 2009. Which means that Google’s AdSense was a party pooper, suggesting Matt check into rehab at the SouthCoast recovery… where he has never been heard from again. It’s like buzz kill, but for a blog. Blog-kill. You heard it here first, folks.

I rest my case.

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