A day in my life, in Jeopardy format.

27 Apr

I’m too tired to write a fully-formed post. So instead, I’m going to share three of the random thoughts that have gone through my head in the past 24 hours. I’ll supply the thought first and the trigger second, in an attempt to drive Alec Trebek wild with enthusiasm.

Here goes…

Thought #1: “Well, I might be aging but you are too and at least I’m doing it with a roof over my head. Wait. I’m moving. Maybe I will be fired or won’t be able to afford my new mortgage and I’ll end up homeless. In which case this was not only a mean thought, but an ironic one. I want to take it back! I’m an evil, awful person for thinking that!”

Trigger #1: What is the one response to a homeless man, shouting, “Damn Sugar. Ain’t getting any younger!” at me today?

Thought #2: “I really need to find a new pool.”

Trigger #2: What is the appropriate reaction to finding a dirty (by which I mean USED) and water-logged tampon sitting on top of the soap dispenser in a shower stall at my pool? Enough said. (Vomit.)

Thought #3: “Is it my mat or the blanket that smells like fish?”

Trigger #3: What is a yogic mystery? Somehow I managed to choose a blanket at yoga tonight that smelled like it was washed with clam juice. Every time I did a downward-facing dog, I found myself pulling a few extra, curious drags of air to diagnose the odor. Halfway through class, I pinpointed the blanket, traded it for another and the problem was solved. Oddly, I was not craving clams casino when I left class.

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