Because massage is an Olympic sport

15 Feb

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, last night Alan and I attended a 2.5 hour Thai massage workshop offered by an instructor at my yoga studio. We both like to rub and be rubbed, so I thought it sounded fun.

The vibe was a bit like what I suspect one experiences at a Lamaze class – couples huddled together on blankets with men exhibiting varying levels of interest and embarrassment. Almost immediately, one couple stood out.

They reminded me of characters from a SNL skit, and if they had dressed to reflect their attitude, they would’ve been wearing matching sweat suits with headbands and wrist cuffs. They sat eagerly on their heels and surveyed the room, seemingly sizing up their rivals. (Because somehow it seemed like massage was – in their eyes – a competitive sport.)

When the instructor asked if anyone had previous experience with Thai massage, they both clapped and whistled, as if challenging another couple to show more interest in Thai massage. Alan squeezed my hand and we stole a sideways glance at each other.

Side note: Thai massage is a bit different than traditional Swedish or deep tissue massage. It involves more pulling and pushing and the masseuse uses her feet and body weight as well as her hands. It’s pretty physical to both give and receive.

No surprise, the Show Off Couple kept loudly asking for clarification, primarily – I suspect – to demonstrate their knowledge of anatomy. “Should we be pushing on the scapula, or should the pressure really be directed at the clavicle?” Clearly, I did a lot of eye rolling during this workshop.

As class wound down everyone was blindfolded and seated facing their partner. Some people draped their legs over each other, others sat with heads bowed and touching.  The room was quiet but I could hear Team Show Off cooing over each other, no doubt concluding that they had DESTROYED the rest of us.

It might not have been very Zen of me and it might have defeated the purpose of a workshop devoted to loving kindness, but as we sat there, I secretly prayed that someone would respond to their loud proclamations of love by ripping a balloon-quality fart.

But the thing is, I’m pretty sure Alan was thinking the same thing.

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2 Responses to “Because massage is an Olympic sport”

  1. Alan February 15, 2010 at 11:00 pm #

    Indeed, I was. Small price to pay for all the enjoyment we’ll get out of that class, though – great idea. 🙂

  2. Linda February 17, 2010 at 10:16 pm #

    Your blog is awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your gift of writing with all of us! I am so glad you posted a link on FB regarding this blog! The stories I have had the pleasure to read are very amusing! I am looking forward to your next adventure!

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