Who has the Christmas spirit? Hint: might not be me.

14 Dec

I will be buying you some of these. You're welcome.

I recently posted about a gift exchange that jumped the rails due to my keen observational skills. If you missed that post, I’ll summarize: I’ve repeatedly given earrings to a good friend who doesn’t have pierced ears. Blam!

Rolling into the holidays, you might think that I’m operating with a high degree of anxiety, knowing that another gift exchange is in my near future. You couldn’t be more wronger™. Nope. I’m not stressed at all. Know why?

Because instead of exchanging gifts, Betsy and I have decided to adopt a DC family in need and spend our money on them instead. Brilliant, right?!

Well, at least, I thought it was brilliant, until I received the family’s wish list. It’s a single mom with two sons. The boys have legitimate items on their wish lists. But the mom? Know what she wants? A gift card to Victoria’s Secret.

Please excuse me while I go all judgmental and decidedly un-charitable for a moment.

You. Must. Be. Shitting. Me.

Let’s rewind. You have two children that you’re struggling to support, so you think the answer is to… buy sexy lingerie and have more sex and potentially create another baby? No. Way.

I want to sit this woman down and say, “Honey. I’m a bleeding heart liberal. I am happy to be taxed if it means a better standard of living for everyone. But you? You’re going to ruin it for everyone needing assistance by asking for shit you do not need.”

“I mean, I’m happy to help give your kids a good Christmas, and I’m happy to help you pick up some essentials for your household. But Victoria’s Secret? That’s a luxury, not a necessity. If you need underwear, there are many, many other stores that sell them. For a fraction of the price. And with more fabric.”

Actually, it’s the holidays. I shouldn’t judge. This is my opportunity to be someone’s Christmas miracle. I think I’ll take that sentiment to heart, and go beyond what’s on her wishlist. In fact, I already have a perfect idea for a stocking stuffer:

13 Responses to “Who has the Christmas spirit? Hint: might not be me.”

  1. John December 14, 2011 at 9:13 am #

    Brilliant! Although I wouldn’t tell her they were “stocking stuffers”.

    • pithypants December 14, 2011 at 11:40 am #

      Because they might end up literally stuffed in her stockings?

  2. Barbara December 14, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    I think its creepy to ask someone you don’t know (her asking you) to buy her underwear. She must’ve been hoping a man would adopt her family…

    I will say though, that she probably can’t justify the expense the rest of the year, so why not try for a dab of luxury? You can always buy her some hand lotion from them or something which she could exchange for store credit if she wants…

  3. Tin Roof Press December 14, 2011 at 11:00 am #

    I completely concur. Victoria Secret is NOT an appropriate gift request at all. Especially from a stranger.

    That besides the whole “Let’s rewind. You have two children that you’re struggling to support, so you think the answer is to… buy sexy lingerie and have more sex and potentially create another baby? No. Way.”

    No way indeed. Condoms are a nice touch. Especially the santa

  4. skippingstones December 14, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    There are so, so many people out there who are just like that woman. Maybe it’s just a matter of not thinking it through, but most of the people I’ve met like that feel entitled. How can you be flat broke and still feel entitled to get? But they do, they feel like they deserve to be treated and for you to spend your hard earned money to pamper them. Of course this is just a generalization, but I’ve met so many people who think that way. I would have been asking for toilet paper and paper towels and laundry detergent. But that’s me.

  5. dribblingpensioner December 14, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

    I would buy the kids and give her a food voucher.

  6. thesinglecell December 14, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

    I gotta go way left, here.

    Yes, at first blush (and I do mean blush!), it’s unseemly to be needy and in want of a gift card to Vicki’s. I’d probably bristle at it, too. But I have a dear friend who is a single mom, underwater on her two-bedroom condo, trying to take care of her ill and impossible mother while dealing with her criminal brother’s impending death, raising a son completely without his bum father, trying to teach him to do the right thing and be a good man, because his father is not. And I know that, for her, feeling a little special and a little more like an attractive woman makes a big difference in her feelings of self-worth, which makes her a better mom. I sometimes think that being needy is tragic enough without also having to wear granny panties. Plus, maybe she just wants some comfy PJs or a bottle of Vicki’s designer perfume or lotion. She might think Vicki’s is the most amazing place she could ever own clothing from. You could make a very longtime dream come true for her by letting her feel a little special.

    Or she’s a skank. Could be that. Just get her to sign something that says you’re not responsible if your gift leads to another mouth to feed. 🙂

    • pithypants December 15, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

      My sister took the same stance. Next thing you know, I’ll be voting for Michelle Bachman.

  7. Curly Carly December 15, 2011 at 9:14 am #

    Reminds me of people who use food stamps to buy beer. Apparently it’s actually allowed. I’m now considering quitting my job to collect welfare. It sounds a lot less stressful.

  8. Lorna's Voice December 15, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    Dream big (or skimpy, in this case). 😉 I agree that there are more appropriate things to ask for in a charitable gift giving situation, but you gotta admire her chutzpah!

  9. Kimberly Pugliano December 15, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

    Amazing. Next thing on her list is a reality show.

  10. squirrel circus December 20, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    This sounds like every adopt-a-family my old office EVER did. I’m sorry, but I have trouble buying a 10-year-old FUBU sweats when my family is wearing Hanes. Yes, we ARE very thankful to have food on our table and a nice home. It’s about PRIORITIES!

    And, yes, “FUBU sweats” IS a reference from fifteen years ago, although I think they still sell them. I’m THAT old. Ha.

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