The other night when Alan was over, waiting for a flank steak to broil in the oven, we started looking at all the dials on my new stove. And we had a few observations.
First, I’m not sure I understand the function of a “PROOF” button on my stove. Will it spellcheck my meals? Will it demonstrate that the food is, in fact, cooking? Seriously – what the hell is that about? And even more frightening – a “PROBE” function? Are you an appliance or my gyno? And if you are an appliance, what dill-hole named that function?
And this one can only be explained by a bad copywriter (or a witty one):
Seriously. I think even second graders know that burning bridges is not a desirable thing.
pithypants 
Not pictured: the little “Be” and “Not Be” buttons next to “Proof” that no one has the guts to select from among …
OK, this is a really funny blog post, but are these serious questions as well? Do you need to know what these controls are for, or did the previous owner pass on manuals for you?
There are manuals, but considering I’ve made it over three decades without needing a proof or a probe function, I’m doubtful I’ll ever even need to explore them.