I’m learning restraint: Unposted Facebook Statuses

13 Jun

This week was a busy one, which explains my absence from this blog  for so long. Monday I settled on my new place and I had movers scheduled to move the bulk of my stuff on Friday. I was working this week, so during my off-hours, I split time hastily shoving things in boxes at my old place or trying to bleach every surface in sight at my new one.

Needless to say, there was little sleep and a lot of swearing and wine involved. I didn’t have as much time to update Facebook as usual, but if I had, these are the posts I would’ve written:

  • Just met the neighbor who lives directly above me. Should I be concerned that his first question was, “This might be personal, but which bedroom are you planing to sleep in?”
  • Bike racks at Trader Joe’s overfloweth. Is this in direct reaction to BP?
  • Interesting. I forgot to pack my plunger. (Not that I needed it, just noting its absence. Seriously, shut up.)
  • Dear God, I hope that is my neighbor’s washer on the spin cycle.
  • It’s one thing to make a Firefly Arnold Palmer if you think you’re meeting friends to watch the World Cup. It is entirely another when that ends up being your drink of choice while biking around town.
  • Just successfully caulked my bathtub. Now to get dried off and put some clothes on.
  • Honey: if your ass is as big as a picnic table, you really shouldn’t wear tight plaid shorts.
  • John Travolta: We get that you can fly a plane. But is it really necessary to wear a pilot’s uniform? I think your family will know who is in charge without the hat, dude.

On second thought, perhaps I’m a nicer person when life gets busy and I can’t find an outlet for my stream of consciousness. Perhaps the world doesn’t need my mind’s play-by-play narration.

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