Why I suck at selling my place…

31 Mar

In my case, this would read "awkward."

Yesterday I was told an agent would stop by my place between 6-7 pm. I lost track of time working and glanced at the clock at 6:55. “Well, obviously they’re a no show,” I thought to myself. I decided to run across the street to Safeway to pick up a baguette for dinner since I had awesome wedges of brie and manchego in the fridge.

Ten minutes later, I bounced off the elevator, key-in-hand as I approached my door, only to see that it was open. Hmmm. Did I leave that door cracked? (It’s possible – sometimes when I leave in a hurry, I’ll slam it and it bounces. If I don’t do the deadbolt, then…) I listened: VOICES inside my place.

So like a freak, I soft-shoed my way back to the elevator and stood there paralyzed. Should I go downstairs? Should I hang out in the hall? I decided to stand by the elevator and wait for them to leave my place. I decided I would press the button as soon as I heard their voices exiting so I could have the, “Oh hey – what crazy timing!” conversation as we crossed paths to/from the elevator.

Sadly, and awkwardly, it reminded me of a high school first date: “Oh my gosh, you showed up a smidge early but I’m actually ready but I’m going to pretend I’m not and disappear for a few minutes so you don’t think I’m sweating your balls off.”

Whatever. It worked. Or at least, it appeared to. Somehow I suspect their elevator conversation opened with, “I wonder how long she was standing out there?”

Note to self: Selling one’s condo should – in no way – resemble a high school date. Before this, I didn’t even realize that awkward was an adjective that could in any way be related to selling one’s home. Now I know.

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