Exactly WHERE are you putting that butt wipe?

13 Feb

Apparently they just put a baby on the label because it's less frightening than a middle aged man or a dog.

I stopped by CVS on my way home from yoga this morning to pick up some nail glue for my thumb. (Last week I sliced right through it with a serrated knife, and as it’s growing out, it’s getting UGLY.)

Anyway, I’m standing there, considering my options, shoulder to shoulder with a somewhat prissy man facing the opposite shelf. He was on his cell phone, and as such, in something of a privacy bubble that be believes makes his conversation impossible to overhear. NOT.

“It was getting desperate,” he told his friend. “I just had to run to the store to get some butt wipes.”


“For who? For BOTH of us – that’s who!”

For some reason, it hadn’t crossed my mind that there might be an infant driving the need for baby wipes (perhaps because he called them “butt wipes”), but even so I was a bit surprised when he continued, “His tail is stuck to the side…”

Hold up. Do people actually use butt wipes on their dogs? I guess it makes sense, but it still made me throw up a little in my mouth as he he said it.

Don’t get me wrong – aside from their environmental impact, I’m a fan of baby wipes. They’re the American version of a bidet as far as I’m concerned.

I just wouldn’t be shouting about using them – on myself OR my dog’s ass – in the middle of a pharmacy. That’s what blogs are for.

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