Tag Archives: spam filter

Mailbag: Because I couldn’t resist. (Sorry, Alan!)

28 Jun

Spam? Definitely Item "C" on this graphic, courtesy of ThisIsIndexed.com

So Alan routinely posts a “mail bag” column, in which he responds to the spam he receives. It’s clever, he’s witty, and while I generally would concede he’s pissed a circle around this turf, tonight I found a multiple comments from one person in my spam filter that I simply can’t ignore.

Public Service Announcement: While I am about to mock spam, lest you think I’m discouraging the rest of you from commenting, let me assure you: when you post a comment on my blog — even if it’s just “LOL!” — it is categorized as “B – Rewarding” for me. So in case I haven’t blatantly asked you to comment (in which case you might think you’re Junk Mail) let me plead: please COMMENT. It’s the only way I know anyone is actually reading this! And it IS very rewarding. 🙂

Now please continue, for the mocking…

Continue reading

I hate to break it to him, but I’m already taken…

27 Oct

Remember how impressed I was with the single-mindedness (if not the creativity) of this guy:

Well, apparently he has competition. Look who hit my blog’s spam filter this week:

While it might be a bit of a stretch to compare someone hawking car rims via my blog to courtship, I think we’re probably all in agreement: Suitor #1 is going to get my business.

Why? Here’s the analysis for the slow learners in the crowd:

“I Like Car Rims” is sort of like that stammering shy kid who had a crush on you in seventh grade. He might even be mildly autistic and can definitely only focus on one thing: CAR RIMS. If you have a date with him, you know what you’ll talk about? CAR RIMS. And if you go to dinner, you know where you’ll go? A drive-in, so you can look at CAR RIMS.

In short: he might be boring, but his innocence is sweet.

On the other hand, you have “Car Rims” – he’s a fast-talker, can’t wait to just get down to business. His introduction to you doesn’t even start with a gentle icebreaker. No – he walks into the room, large and in charge, shouting orders: Ghost ride that whip.

Not only is it bossy, but it kind of sounds dirty. Well, Mr. Car Rims, I will NOT take your suggestion – I will not be riding a whip or whipping a ride or anything else you might suggest. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Now if only someone could tell me why Car Rim aficionados like my blog. It’s not like I write about cars. Or rims.

I guess some people just scream SPINNERS! Yep. That’s me.

CLASSY.

I commend his focus.

14 Oct

WordPress has a filter that flags comments that appear to be spam before allowing them to post. Nonetheless, I get a kick out of reading them, in large part because they are generally gibberish and chock full of spelling and grammatical errors.

This one made me smile. This guy is not even trying to mask his cause:

I’m actually tempted to email him. The responses I’m considering include:

  • Not especially. Why are you so hot on them?
  • Not as much as I like the rims of basketball hoops.
  • Can you please be more specific? The rim of WHAT on my car?
  • Dude: you are a bit desperate for validation. See a therapist.