I hate to break it to him, but I’m already taken…

27 Oct

Remember how impressed I was with the single-mindedness (if not the creativity) of this guy:

Well, apparently he has competition. Look who hit my blog’s spam filter this week:

While it might be a bit of a stretch to compare someone hawking car rims via my blog to courtship, I think we’re probably all in agreement: Suitor #1 is going to get my business.

Why? Here’s the analysis for the slow learners in the crowd:

“I Like Car Rims” is sort of like that stammering shy kid who had a crush on you in seventh grade. He might even be mildly autistic and can definitely only focus on one thing: CAR RIMS. If you have a date with him, you know what you’ll talk about? CAR RIMS. And if you go to dinner, you know where you’ll go? A drive-in, so you can look at CAR RIMS.

In short: he might be boring, but his innocence is sweet.

On the other hand, you have “Car Rims” – he’s a fast-talker, can’t wait to just get down to business. His introduction to you doesn’t even start with a gentle icebreaker. No – he walks into the room, large and in charge, shouting orders: Ghost ride that whip.

Not only is it bossy, but it kind of sounds dirty. Well, Mr. Car Rims, I will NOT take your suggestion – I will not be riding a whip or whipping a ride or anything else you might suggest. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Now if only someone could tell me why Car Rim aficionados like my blog. It’s not like I write about cars. Or rims.

I guess some people just scream SPINNERS! Yep. That’s me.

CLASSY.

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