List: Acceptable Christmas Creep

11 Jan
Holidays: Creating more AwkwardFamilyPhotos than school picture day.

This is NOT the kind of Christmas Creep I’m talking about. 

I’m squarely in the camp that thinks the Christmas season should begin after Thanksgiving and end on New Year’s Day. Even one day in either direction and I’ll judge you if you have holiday lights up. And every year, I get a bit more judgmental.

However, now that Christmas is behind us, there are a few things I kind of miss. I might be willing to make a few exceptions to the “acceptable holiday window” if it meant I could find these seven things outside of December:

  1. Envelopes in my mailbox that don’t contain bills. It’s like a month of freakin’ summer camp, coming home to find real mail in there every day. Now? Back to my crappy pen pals: AmEx, Pepco and Wells Fargo. Bleh. 
  2. Pretzel Chips in holiday flavors. If you haven’t tried them, you really need to hunt down a bag of dark chocolate + peppermint bits. Two words: Holy. Shit. Actually, on second thought – HORRIBLE idea. I would need a forklift to get me off the couch if these were available year-round. (Note: Being a hoarder, I currently have four bags of these in my cupboard. Which should last me until approximately Friday.) 
  3. People helping each other out. Sure, it’s great that people tend to hop in and help out the less fortunate in December, donating Christmas meals or gifts for families or volunteering at soup kitchens. But think how powerful it would be if we acted that way all year round?
  4. Trees in our living rooms. I often think, “If aliens ever landed on Earth in December, how would we explain that a fair chunk of the population has randomly chopped down trees and dragged them into their homes?”  Anything you couldn’t explain to an alien is, well, kind of awesome. 
  5. Random airings of classic holiday movies. Basically, I’m talking about National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and Christmas Story. A random scene here and there is like comfort food. Although – what am I talking about? I don’t even own a television.
  6. Party lights! I don’t even put up a Christmas tree, but I do love my little string of white lights. In fact, I love their little glow more than that of the table lamp on the other end of my couch. Perhaps I should just adopt party lights as a year-round means of lighting my place. Oh wait. I did that in college. To accentuate my beer can pyramid. Nevermind. 
  7. Cinnamon Brooms at the door of Whole Foods. Definitely beats the smell of urine that usually greets me. Frankly, I think hanging even ONE cinnamon broom near the entrance would help.

That is all. Now pardon me as I go string my MLK Day lights. And decorate my Valentine’s Day tree.

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6 Responses to “List: Acceptable Christmas Creep”

  1. The Byronic Man January 11, 2013 at 10:51 am #

    I like to imagine the looks you’d get for putting up MLK Day lights; maybe singing some MLK carols.

  2. dianeskitchentable January 11, 2013 at 3:44 pm #

    I’m not sure why every year I think that bringing a tree into the house will make me not allergic to it. I guess over a year’s time I forget.

    • pithypants January 11, 2013 at 5:36 pm #

      That is horrible! Like being allergic to rainbows and unicorns! Magic shouldn’t make you sneeze!

  3. thesinglecell January 12, 2013 at 10:51 am #

    Having just a few days ago hauled down the holly (and the Dickens Village houses, and the lights, and the tree), I’m actually kind of happy to have it cleared out, if only because now my house is in better order and I don’t have to clean around it all. That said, I always miss the Dickens Village houses, and I rather miss the string of lights I had put over – yes, you guessed it – my television.

  4. soundslikeorange January 19, 2013 at 2:33 pm #

    Don’t forget the President’s Day wreath. George won’t bring you fruit bowls without it.

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