She has (Photoshop) skillz to pay the billz.

6 Dec

Anyone has been reading PithyPants for a while is familiar with my sister. She has few boundaries and a twisted sense of humor. She’s the reason I had to categorize all my work friends in Facebook and block my Wall so they couldn’t read what she posted. Because – while funny – she’s can also be a bit of an HR disaster.

Ironically, in person she’s very sweet and polite. But online? She’s a menace. Especially because she knows Photoshop.

One of her recent amusements has been to take photos from my Facebook account and Photoshop them to subtly insinuate that I’m either a) pregnant or b) have a baby. It started in the wake of my visit to Michigan in August, when I had my arms crossed in a family photo so she stuck a baby in them.

Knowing that I don’t have a single maternal bone in my body and would rather hold a kitten, this tickled her.

Since then, she’s become increasingly subtle. Here are a few examples:

Baby Bump and Cankles, brought to you by Photoshop. And Alicia.

Stop staring at me like that. You'll make my baby cry.

It's hard to even sneak a bite with this second mouth to feed!

This last week, she shifted approaches. I received a SuperStar award at my company and a number of colleagues posted messages on my Facebook Wall alluding to my SuperStar status. My sister, being both pesky and curious about it, set about congratulating me in a way that only a sibling can:

"Congratulations, SuperStar!"

Oh, I look like I won an award all right. And like I’ve left my helmet just outside the frame.

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19 Responses to “She has (Photoshop) skillz to pay the billz.”

  1. Alicia December 6, 2011 at 10:08 am #

    My spouse told me I had to stop harassing you because it would soon stop being funny. I don’t think it will ever stop tickling my funny bone, but having thus been acknowledged (my “desperate cries for attention,” I think you called them), I’ll cease and desist. For now.

    • popdialectic December 6, 2011 at 10:40 am #

      The baby shtick had just about run its course but you reinvented the joke with the Superstar photo, which was stunningly funny. I almost never literally LOL reading Facebook, and that jumped out at me and made me laugh every time I thought of it for the rest of the day. More than made up for defacing my favorite picture of the Superstar and me. 😉

    • Kimberly Pugliano December 6, 2011 at 11:38 am #

      I know a few people. You don’t have to stop. I’ll give you MY sister’s Facebook page.

  2. Anja@ www.pcprima.de December 6, 2011 at 10:48 am #

    Some sisters just don’t get it!

    You are not alone!

  3. Kimberly Pugliano December 6, 2011 at 11:37 am #

    Your sister is flipping AWESOME. I want to be her BFF. Please send her to my blog so she can contact me and we can start hanging out.

  4. Lorna's Voice December 6, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    Talent runs in your family. I’m impressed with her erasing skills!

  5. The Byronic Man December 6, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

    I may have just fallen in love with your sister.

  6. thesinglecell December 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm #

    Your sister is hilarious and you’re a boffo sport about it… but how does she respond when/if you turn the tables?

    • pithypants December 6, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

      We will soon find out. Wait for it…

  7. John December 6, 2011 at 6:44 pm #

    So, what’s the due date?

  8. Tattoos, love and lunacy... December 6, 2011 at 7:35 pm #

    Your sister is flippin’ hysterical, as are you.

    • pithypants December 7, 2011 at 9:35 am #

      My humor tends toward snarky; hers is more twisted. We really need to write a screenplay.

  9. curlycarly127 December 6, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

    Hilarious!! I have so much respect for your sister! I’m definitely adding this to my list of prank ideas.

  10. cleaningupatown December 7, 2011 at 7:07 am #

    Oh the fun of photoshop! I like your sister, I love this post!

  11. allenavw December 7, 2011 at 12:49 pm #

    That Superstar picture is a crowning glory. It’s hilarious.

    And I’m so glad I don’t have siblings lol.

    • pithypants December 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

      She claims she’s just keeping me humble.

  12. Danielle December 13, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

    OMG, I just about fell out of my work chair! Too funny!

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