I’ve got your TPS report right here.

18 Feb

At work a few weeks back, we were discussing creating a document where we store data that multiple people needed to access for responding to RFPs. My colleague – who sometimes mixes up words – ran with the idea, suggesting we create a central suppository.

I almost fell off my chair at the time, but in retrospect, I think there’s something clever about it. At least it would be more polite to direct someone to a “central suppository” instead of telling them directly to shove it up their ass.

“Do you have the Q2 profitability reports?” they would ask.

“Um, no,” I would say. “But why don’t you check the central suppository?”

I shared this with Alan afterward, and he proceeded to elaborate on it. “It would be for data you really need to sit on before making a decision.” Then, after a pause, “Did you say you would need to probe a bit further before arriving at a decision?”

I had to signal a timeout because he looked like he was only getting started.

And yet last week, as I seamed up an RFP response, friend Kelly looked it over and commented, “Wow. They really gave us a full rectal exam on this one, didn’t they?”

Indeed they did. Perhaps checking out the suppository beforehand would’ve made the whole process smoother.

Next time.

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One Response to “I’ve got your TPS report right here.”

  1. Paul February 18, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    Gawd, that’s funny!

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