I’ve got your TPS report right here.

18 Feb

At work a few weeks back, we were discussing creating a document where we store data that multiple people needed to access for responding to RFPs. My colleague – who sometimes mixes up words – ran with the idea, suggesting we create a central suppository.

I almost fell off my chair at the time, but in retrospect, I think there’s something clever about it. At least it would be more polite to direct someone to a “central suppository” instead of telling them directly to shove it up their ass.

“Do you have the Q2 profitability reports?” they would ask.

“Um, no,” I would say. “But why don’t you check the central suppository?”

I shared this with Alan afterward, and he proceeded to elaborate on it. “It would be for data you really need to sit on before making a decision.” Then, after a pause, “Did you say you would need to probe a bit further before arriving at a decision?”

I had to signal a timeout because he looked like he was only getting started.

And yet last week, as I seamed up an RFP response, friend Kelly looked it over and commented, “Wow. They really gave us a full rectal exam on this one, didn’t they?”

Indeed they did. Perhaps checking out the suppository beforehand would’ve made the whole process smoother.

Next time.

One Response to “I’ve got your TPS report right here.”

  1. Paul February 18, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    Gawd, that’s funny!

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