Archive | October, 2010

Christine O’Donnell: Bless Your Heart

19 Oct

I’m speechless. Or rather: I have TOO many thoughts, all competing to come out at once. So I’ll let Christine O’Donnell speak for herself. Please watch until the 3 minute mark.

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Stream of Consciousness: A Rose by Any Other Name…

18 Oct


I swear to you, this is exactly the sequence of thoughts after getting home from my pottery class tonight.

How my brain works: it’s sad. I accept that.

Not bad! I might just have to post a little Facebook update about my pottery progress tonight.

“I trimmed six bowls and threw two more.”

Will people even know what that means?

Whatever. I’m a friggin’ potter, yo!

How cool would it be if my last name was Potter?

Alicia’s sixth grade teacher’s last name was Potter…

…and she wasn’t a potter.

What a waste.

With a last name like that, you should honor it.

That way, people would say, “Sandy Potter? Are you a potter? Ha ha!” thinking they’re clever and expecting you to say no.

But then you’d say, “Yes I am. Why are you laughing?” and SHAZAM – you’d have the upper-hand in that conversation.

Some people have all the luck.


Hang on. My last name is ALSO a noun that could be a vocation.

But I live in the city and don’t even have a balcony.

How the hell could I farm?

Maybe I should move.

Or change my name so people don’t think I’m wasting it.

I had this exact patch sewn onto my overalls in fourth grade. Except it was in English. And it said: "I'm Proud to be A Farmer." And I modified it with a Sharpie so it said, "I'm Proud to be A. Farmer."

When strangers tell you to eat it: at least give it a whirl?

17 Oct

Friday was a perfect fall evening, so Alan and I decided to do a little “urban exploring” – which is essentially my way to convince him to to walk around my neighborhood with me, but it sounds more exciting.

The excuse for our foray was a LivingSocial coupon providing a $25 credit at Cork & Fork on 14th Street, so we headed there. Unbeknownst to us, the store was hosting a private event – which might be why my “Spartan” sweatshirt elicited so many snotty looks.

(When we walked in, I thought, “Since when do people wear little black dresses to the liquor store?” and then, “This guy is NOT doing a good job trying to get us to taste his wine – he’s practically snubbing us!”) Fortunately Alan was a bit more dialed in so he asked the sales clerk if it was a private tasting. It was. Oops.

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I got balls: a case of too little, too late.

16 Oct

Anyone who has followed my move knows that while I love my new place, I’m less than thrilled with my upstairs neighbor’s squeaky floorboard. On Monday I got the best news possible: Michael stopped down to tell me that he was having his floors replaced this week!

Sweet, right? I practically did backflips. He went on to say that he’s going to get carpet in his bedrooms, so that should also help with the noise. Fabulous!

But after he left, I got to thinking about it. He mentioned that he was having the floors ripped out in the living room and hall, where he was replacing them with new wood, but didn’t say anything about tearing them out in the bedroom before carpeting. The next morning, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling as it squeaked – to a rhythm that makes me believe he must have been jerking off – I realized it was time to be bold.

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I commend his focus.

14 Oct

WordPress has a filter that flags comments that appear to be spam before allowing them to post. Nonetheless, I get a kick out of reading them, in large part because they are generally gibberish and chock full of spelling and grammatical errors.

This one made me smile. This guy is not even trying to mask his cause:

I’m actually tempted to email him. The responses I’m considering include:

  • Not especially. Why are you so hot on them?
  • Not as much as I like the rims of basketball hoops.
  • Can you please be more specific? The rim of WHAT on my car?
  • Dude: you are a bit desperate for validation. See a therapist.