Stream of Consciousness: Swimming Tonight

11 May

Yes, I've clearly borrowed this from, as evidenced by their watermark all over it. I would use my own photo, but somehow I don't think my swim quite captured the meditative vibe I was going for. Had someone been there with a camera, it probably would've looked like an angry person drowning.

Oh God. This water is cold.

What was I thinking?

Maybe I’m not supposed to swim tonight.

I mean, first, there was the shampoo that leaked all over in my bag and coated all my swim stuff with UltraSwim.

I should’ve taken that as a sign and just gone home.

I wonder if there were suds when I jumped in the pool?

Damn. I should’ve paid attention.

Are there suds behind me now?

No. But I definitely smell the UltraSwim.

I wonder if there’s some in my goggles.


Focus. You’re here to swim.

Your day sucked ass and this is how you put it behind you.

Get it out of your system.

You have 70 laps – well, maybe 50 because it *is* cold – to get over your crappy day.

I wonder if this is like a swimming meditation that I’m trying?

Does anyone do that?

If I’m the first person to do it, could I write a book about it?

Would there be enough interest that I could teach other people how to do it and go on lecture tours?

I think I need to stop thinking for it to be a meditation.

This isn’t going to work.

I can’t believe I forgot my flip-flops.

Disgusting. I probably should’ve just bailed and gone home.

The thought that I walked in the locker room unprotected makes me ill.

Now I probably will get a plantar’s wart – and only for 50 laps.

Maybe I should do 70 to make it worth it, just in case I do get a wart.

I’ll kick a little harder to try to wash off any wart juice I might have walked through.

But what about the shower?

That is going to be doubly-disgusting, because there will probably be long black hairs on the ground.

Why do black hairs bother me so much more than light hairs?

Do people with dark hair find light hair more revolting?

If I threw up in my mouth in the water, would anyone notice?

I clearly never swim very hard because I haven’t thrown up in the gutter.

Most swimmers do at some point.

Did Brian Guidry tell me that he threw up at practice sometime recently?

I’ll have to ask.

Wait. Am I getting competitive about throwing up while swimming?

What lap am I on?

One Response to “Stream of Consciousness: Swimming Tonight”


  1. Barbary Coast War, pt. III | The Popdialectic - June 23, 2010

    […] 23 June 2010 by popdialectic I’ve seen stream-of-consciousness writing in other places, but Alison writes it with a believable voice and makes entertaining (is it any wonder that I’m crazy […]

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