Archive | February, 2011

Business advice, free of charge.

9 Feb

I recently got into a discussion with a friend about titles. Not house titles or book titles, but professional titles. As in, what does your business card say?

My friend was bemoaning the fact that her company uses titles that make sense internally, but don’t in any way correlate to the outside world. Namely, to their customers.

“I’m pretty high up in my organization,” she told me, “but my title says manager so whenever I’m negotiating with a client, their response is generally, ‘let me talk to your boss.'”

I can relate. I work for a company that doesn’t place a lot of importance in a person’s title, so we all roll with what we’re handed. For the most part it works, except that I generally am negotiating with Vice Presidents. Little do they know that in my world, everyone is empowered to help them, and “manager” means it’s generally within my jurisdiction to stop the buck.

Anyway. Back to my friend. She asked if I thought she was making a mountain out of a molehill, or if it was a legitimate beef.

My response?

First, I think it’s fine to have TWO titles. To internally have a title that conveys your function and speaks to the progressiveness of the organization, if you work for a flat organization. But when it comes to the outside world? Hell no. You need to speak the same language and translate your competency into terms your clients can understand.

You ask for respect in how you present yourself, and a title is part of that. Poor titles mean you spend a decent part of every first conversation trying to establish your credibility and defend your position. It’s a waste of time.

As I told my friend: “You wouldn’t expect to be treated with respect if you went to the doctor, pointed to your crotch and say ‘my hoohoo is broken,’ would you?”

No? Exactly.

Use words fit within your clients’ vocabulary. Otherwise, brace to have many lame hoohoo conversations.

You’ve been warned.

You may call him the Gipper, but at least 77 people call him Lifeguard.

7 Feb

Yesterday would have been Ronald Reagan’s 100th birthday, so NPR ran a story discussing his life and legacy. It was a generous, human look at an actor-turned-politician.

From what I hear, people apparently adore the man. I won’t say anything beyond that, because my last few attempts to write a sentence ended up with: a) an essay about Alzheimer’s, and b) imagining how I would feel about a puppy becoming the POTUS. While both are debatably relevant to this post, neither is especially helpful nor likely to endear me to you, my patient readers.

So what I learned while listening to NPR’s profile that was REALLY fascinating to me is that Reagan allegedly pulled 77 people out of the water when he was a lifeguard. (They interviewed #70, who said that “Dutch” was a really great guy.)

A few observations…

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I am so, um, JAZZED.

7 Feb

Alan better be worried. If the ads in my account are any indication, it seems Facebook has really figured out my type:

I am TOTALLY into faithful Christian cops.

How did they know? It’s almost eerie.

It really should come with gloves.

6 Feb

As a child, I couldn’t stand Vicks VapoRub. I just rediscovered it yesterday and have to say: I am a fan!  Since Thursday I’ve been battling some sort of sinus/chest thing. Its started in my sinuses and migrated to my throat and chest.

Yesterday I couldn’t speak without having to (unsuccessfully) clear my throat mid-sentence. If you’ve experienced this, then you know precisely how frustrating it is. Which explains why I kept interrupting my sentences to blurt, “Goddammit!” as if I had a case of full-blown Turrets.

I finally broke down and went to Safeway on a mission to bring home any medication that boasted the magic word “expectorant” on its label. While checking out Mucinex, a tub of Vicks happened to pique my curiosity so I added it to my basket as well.

It’s hard to identify what the exact benefit of Vicks is, but my chest feels looser, so that’s a start. I don’t see much risk to continuing to slather it on since it’s the only thing I’ve found that provides some degree of immediate relief. Although I suspect the next time Alan comes over he’s going to wonder why my entire condo smells like menthol.

Oh, and a tip to the uninitiated: after applying Vicks, go wash your hands. Immediately. I learned this the hard way. I forgot that I had Menthol Hands and made the colossal mistake of rubbing my eye. Holy Mother of Mary. Not only was I temporarily blinded, my wet eye felt HOT then COLD. I thought it might throw itself out of the socket in an attempt to crawl to a glass of ice water.

So I guess that’s a ringing endorsement: I’m willing to continue using a product that almost blinded me. Maybe I should approach Vicks and see if they want to sponsor me. I’m pretty sure that’s one of the better testimonial quotes they’ll find.

News Flash: apparently when I’m sick, I’m cranky.

5 Feb

Admittedly, I was feeling rather sorry for my sick self yesterday when I reported on my recent experience at the library, so my tone was probably a bit more bitchy/whiny than pithy. In fact, it’s hard to be pithy when you’re sick.

Anyway, it wasn’t one of my funnier posts. Unfortunately, it drew a record number of hits, apparently because a librarian stumbled upon it and tweeted it out, presumably to an audience of other librarians. And in case you hadn’t made the connection: librarians read.

The link was teed up as, “These posts make me so sad. Another lost library patron…” which left me scratching my head.

Did the tweet mean that the library had lost me as a patron or that I was a clueless human being? Was my post sad because of how it was written or because of the service I had received?

(I re-read my post and was embarrassed that my self-pity had come across as a mean-spirited assessment of the librarian’s mental capacity.)

Then I saw that this same tweeting librarian was playing with the idea of offering a reward for non-librarians to write something positive about libraries. And the thought that librarians feel like they have to pay for positive publicity made ME sad. Because the truth is, I love libraries.

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