I just got home from the hospital (third time in two weeks – does that earn me a free visit next time?) because my left calf did its whole “swell to the size of your thigh” trick again as I left work. (More on that later – both the crazy ass people I met at the hospital and the diagnosis. In a nutshell: I’m fine but my veins are lazy.)
Anyway, because I was eager to put the hospital behind me quickly, one of the first things I did was check my blog traffic. And in addition to the regular hits, do you know what? I’ve had four search engine hits direct people to my blog because my pre-Oscar post referred to the hosts as Anne Hathaway and James DeFranco. Apparently, the name is James Franco. And yet, not one, but FOUR individual jackasses looked for James DeFranco.
I edited the entry and changed his name, but I’m now regretting it. Who knows how many other lost souls I could attract? Hell, maybe I should change Anne Hathaway to something more interesting. Anne McHathaway? Anne Hecheway? You tell me. I’ll definitely allow McDonald’s sponsorship if it means more blog traffic.
Secretly though, I’m a bit glad people botched his name when they looked for him. Because when I googled the diagnosis the ER doctor gave me tonight, I typed “incompetent veins” and still managed to find what I was looking for.
Which means that somewhere there is a doctor looking at the search engine terms that lead to his page on DVT and laughing. “Aww, bless her heart for calling her veins incompetent,” he’s saying. Just as I kick back and chuckle about people finding my blog by looking for James DeFranco.
Bless your (lazy little) heart.
pithypants 
“incompetent cervix” is a not uncommon pregnancy complication. I always balked at the name. It seems so judgmental. Like the cervix decides to go to the spa rather than hold the baby in the uterus…
Exactly. I was like, “well, they’re at least marginally competent because I haven’t keeled over.”