I just learned a new word.

3 Feb

I wish I hadn’t.

Here’s the word I wish I could scrub from my vocabulary: VAJAZZLING.

If you don’t know what it is, think, “Beadazzler meets bikini area.” Um, yeah.

Seriously? I’m pretty sure our pioneer ancestors would have neutered themselves, had they known their descendants would actually spend time and mental energy on such a thing.

Although, who knows? Maybe pioneer women stuck corn kernels to their nether regions for a little bedtime bling.

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5 Responses to “I just learned a new word.”

  1. Alicia February 4, 2011 at 1:18 pm #

    whoa.

    p.s. how could you write this post without envoking the merkin?

  2. pithypants February 4, 2011 at 3:52 pm #

    Yes, merkins! That would be an excellent counterpoint.

    And you know what else I learned about yesterday? The tugging movement. If you’re not familiar with it, apparently some men are trying to regrow their foreskin through a years’ long stretching process. OUCH.

    I swear, I’m not seeking out weird stuff. It’s throwing itself in my path. This tugging business surfaced while I was reading a book of essays from Salon.com, so it’s not like I’m surfing smut!

  3. Nicole February 4, 2011 at 6:08 pm #

    Scarily your post wasn’t the first time that I had heard of the vajazzle! It makes me feel ill just thinking about it!

    • pithypants February 4, 2011 at 6:19 pm #

      Right? Two thoughts: 1) When the jewels start to wash off, I’d imagine it resembles a sparkly version of the mange, and 2) What about the poor guy who is surprised by a vajazzled vajayjay? I heard Jennifer Love Hewitt say hers looked like a “disco ball” and I can’t imagine that’s something a person would want to stumble upon without warning. Or am I a prude?

  4. Nicole February 5, 2011 at 6:08 am #

    No I’m with you there. You may need to apply sunglasses so a warning would be good. Another question though, how could Jennifer’s ever look like a ball of any kind? I would see a doctor if I were her!

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