Courteney Cox: this should've been your first clue that you were marrying down.
About a month ago I posted about a firelog from hell trying to kill me. I’m sure you thought I was over-reacting, that my toting a fire extinguisher around was overkill.
Well, I’m here to tell you that Google says otherwise.
Since writing that post, every week I’ve had a few blog hits because people googled the following search terms:
- how to kill fire log
- how to extinguish pine mountain logs
- what the hell is a fire log
- fire log ashes
- 12 hour fire log
Don’t judge the first guy, the one who asked “how to kill fire log?” in his best caveman voice. I know EXACTLY how he feels. Because when your log is shooting 3-foot flames up your chimney, it has become a living thing that must be killed, not just extinguished.
Along those lines, I’m guessing the second person was still in the “curious” phase and not yet terrified, because there’s no way I could’ve spelled “extinguish” when worried that I was going to burn my entire building to the ground.
I’m curious about the guy who googled, “what the hell is a fire log.” Why so angry, sir? And where were you that the topic of a fire log arose without also having someone on hand to define it? Or were you curious about a fire log’s chemical components? Actually, if that’s what you were driving at – if your tone is more of awe than anger – I can completely relate.
And last, for the 12-hour searcher: wishful thinking. A 12 hour fire ? That’s called a furnace.
Judgement: vindicated. Thank you very much.
pithypants 
well done.