Waxing poetic. Or just waxing.

11 Mar

OK. I really wasn’t going to go here. I swear. Please forgive me.

The other night – in preparation for my tropical vacation next week – I had an appointment with Nora at Corte Salon. Nora is famous in DC for being perhaps the best waxer inside the Beltway. (And no, that wasn’t a pun, and by famous I mean she’s actually had entire articles devoted to her waxing prowess.)

My two best friends also visit her, so whenever I have an appointment, among other things we spend the thirty minutes catching up on what everyone has been up to. That definitely helps distract from what could otherwise be an awkward experience.

What doesn’t distract from the awkwardness is the current salon layout. It’s great that there is natural light, but lying naked on a table doesn’t really make me crave a good view of the city. Especially when the view between my feet is an office building directly across the street. Granted, there’s a gauzy curtain hanging down, but I suspect that if I can see them, they can see me.

I like Nora because I can ask her questions and learn something I otherwise never would’ve known. For example, I learned that during the holidays it is not uncommon for women to have their pubic hair shaped into wreaths and dyed green. And for Valentine’s Day, a red heart is all the rage. I’m sorry, I like to think I’m liberal, but does anyone actually find that sexy rather than alarming? If so, please tell me why.

Anyway… I could write an entire “stream of consciousness” post about a waxing appointment, but that’s not what inspired this post. What got me on the topic was actually a real news story about a woman who caused a car accident while shaving her bikini line while driving.

Please – before you read any further, familiarize yourself with this story if you don’t already know it, because I have questions.

First – let’s look at that photo. She looks a bit manly, indicating that a quick “touch up” of the bikini line might actually involve a power tool and take up to 45 minutes. Probably not a greats idea while driving.

Second – she has passengers. When is the last time YOU pulled your pants down and began grooming your bikini line in front of others?

Third – one of those passengers is her ex-husband. That might make the lack of modesty understandable – until you realize that she’s driving to visit her boyfriend. Cuckold much, anyone? (And yes, I realize they were divorced, but dude – he was allegedly steering. WTF?)

Fourth – her license is suspended for a DUI. Oh, really? But it sounds like she makes such good decisions when stepping behind the wheel. (In keeping with that logic, is it safe to assume she’s driving a Toyota that she bought AFTER the recall?)

There are enough juicy tidbits in this short article to fuel a full-blown screenplay. Unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of time on my hands.

Although – now that I think about it – perhaps I might, if only I took a tip from this woman and got a bit more serious about multi-tasking. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to scorn…

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