As previously mentioned, I’m trying to play a hopeless game of catch-up on the NaNoWriMo front, so I’m cutting back on pithy posts and conserving my words for my would-be novel this month. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still have some pith in my life. I bring to you a few photos I’ve snapped with my phone since arriving in LA yesterday.

First: I’ve never noticed this before, but the elevators out here have EARTHQUAKE buttons. I’m not sure what the purpose is, but I’d like to imagine that if I press it, I will cause an earthquake. When I board the elevator, I think, “Hmmm. Where will my evening take me? Lobby? Roof deck? Earthquake?” Willy Wonka had a hand in this option.

Second: I’m not sure how my hotel knew that I’d hit the Mexican buffet at WholeFoods, but I applaud their signage:

My kind of place...

Third: Margaret and I walked the Manhattan Beach pier, and she was attacked by a shark. A landshark.

Fourth: inside the aquarium exhibit, they had some tanks where you could actually handle starfish. But only with one finger. Here Margaret demonstrates proper technique for touching the “animals.” I hate to tell them, but I think “touching with one finger” is called “poking,” and no one likes that.

Who create THIS rule? One finger, sure. But two? We're going to have to ask you to leave.

Fifth: Also in the exhibit were two angry looking eels. They were NOT in the “gently touch” bucket. They were in their own area, with no other living creature near them. Probably because they ate them. BTW? You might not want to include these specimens in a “What Lives Under This Pier?” exhibit if you actually are trying to boost tourism. Because you’ve forever cured my urge to set foot in the Pacific Ocean now. Thanks.

This is what I will picture the next time someone feels "bitey."

Finally: After work tonight, I took a little walk to stretch my legs and work off one of the forty avocados I’ve inhaled since landing yesterday. Our office is right on Wilshire Boulevard at the start of the Miracle Mile, so my walk took me right by the La Brea Tar Pits. If you don’t know what those are, then go watch the Flintstones. I’m pretty sure this is where Fred worked:

"Oh sure, Earl. See where your thirst has landed you?"

And that’s how I spent my first 24 hours in LA. My schedule the rest of the week will be pretty intense on the work front, but I’m open to suggestions if anyone has recommendations of kitschy/random things I must see or do before returning. Anyone?

Tags: humor, Los Angeles, photos