Tag Archives: Passive Aggressive Behavior

It’s going to take more than a squirt of Fabreeze.

30 Apr

Dear Dog Owner,

You might love your dog so much that you’re impervious to the scent of his crap, but for the rest of us, it’s the most awful, pungent aroma of all time. We appreciate that you tried to take care of it, but here’s a tip: if there’s still a dark spot on the carpet, you need to keep at it.

Otherwise, you will also have a pile of vomit to clean up.

Thanks,

Alison

Mystery Solved: The case of the creepy owner

21 Apr

So it looks like I’m one signature away from having my condo under contract. Woo-hoo! Let’s keep those fingers crossed.

This entire process has reminded me of my days as a realtor in DC, days that – previously – I had tried hard to forget. There’s no joy in remembering the 11pm phone calls from panicked clients, the conversations with shady agents, or the contentious settlements where people heatedly called the other party derogatory names.

However, in the midst of all these ugly stories, one bizarre anecdote re-surfaced that – at the time – I dubbed, “The Curious Case of the Missing Bathroom.” If you enjoy Sherlock Holmes mysteries (or better yet, an Encyclopedia Brown story), you’ll get a kick out of this…

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Let me test my hypothesis…

17 Apr

Today has been a hellish day in the world of a home seller. I had insomnia last night and wanted to do little more than writhe around in my bed and nap intermittently today. But NO. Agents were slated to show my place from 11am – 3:30pm, so I had to make myself scarce.

I busied myself with yoga, grocery shopping and people-watching in the Circle, counting the minutes until 3:30 when I could get home, crawl in bed and take a fat nap. Just as I walked through my door at 3:45, my phone rang. It was an agent asking to show my place between 4-6pm.

Trying to NOT be bitchy, I asked if she could be a BIT more specific because I really would like to take a nap. Alas, she could not, so I gave her a nod to come by between 4-6pm.

The thing is, it’s now 6:30pm and she STILL hasn’t been here. Now I’m triple pissed because I could’ve taken not only a nap, but also a bath. And Murphy’s Law dictates that if I were to try to slip into the tub now, I would almost immediately hear a key in my door.

Let’s give it a shot. We’ll see if a tub filled with hot water conjures an agent like a ouiji board conjures spirits.

This 1968 ouiji board ad clearly sports a trick question. A model or a fashion designer? Well, let's see - you're already appearing in an advertisement, so what do YOU think the answer is? Oh, but can you tell me if that realtor will ever show up?

Passive aggressive styling tools?

1 Mar

Shall we agree that it's ironic (or appropriate) that it's called a blow dryer?