Oh internet, you pesky time suck, you.

12 Sep

For whatever reason, I haven’t felt compelled to write on my blog lately. It’s certainly not lack of material – I’ve had a lot going on, including Liz’s farewell party, my e-staff housewarming party, an upcoming visit from my parents, etc. I just haven’t felt much like writing about any of it.

Instead, I’ve spent my time cracking up at the dumb stuff that’s already floating around online. So I thought tonight I’d share a few of the gems that have crossed my path in recent days…

First: The “girl takes watermelon in the face” video, which is a clip from The Amazing Race:

I used to love watching The Amazing Race because it was fun to speculate how I would perform the challenges in comparison to the people on the show. I’ll give this girl credit: I can’t imagine doing anything but crying after getting pelted in the face with a watermelon. Had it been me, when the friend pushes her to finish the task, I would have looked straight at the camera and exited the show with a big “Eff you” the friend.

The Amazing Race clip reminded of another video that is something of a classic – the Grape Smashing Reporter:

I can’t watch that clip without laughing so hard I cry. In fact, just searching to find the link for this blog entry had me giggling. While the fall is unfortunate, there are two things about it that make me laugh: first, the fact that she started smashing them in double-time after telling the other person to stop, and second, the god-awful noises she makes when she’s rolling around on the ground.

What is it about people hurting themselves that is funny?

It reminds me of a time in college when, walking across campus on my way to class, I saw a guy fall off his bike and bite the pavement pretty hard. I walked over to him to ask if he was all right, but for whatever reason, the words that came out of my mouth were, “How’s it going?” which struck me as so ludicrous – given that he was sprawled out on his back – that I got the giggles and ended up doubled over dying of laughter. I felt horrible even as I was doing it, but I couldn’t get it together.

Speaking of giggles, while the clearly uncooperative dog in this clip is funny, what really got me going was the contagious laughter of the girl filming it. Well, that and the fact that the dog is so opposed to walking that he would rather play dead.

So that’s how I’ve pissed away my week.

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You say goodbye. I say hello.

10 Sep

Liz and Holly came over Wednesday for a major milestone: OUR LAST WINE NIGHT.

No, we’re not all suddenly jumping on the wagon (though that might not be a bad idea)… rather, Liz is moving to Atlanta on Tuesday.

Gasp! I know, right? We’ve had almost a decade of regular late nights, swilling and sharing stories.

I first met Liz in 1999, when I moved into her group house on N Street NW in DC. One of my favorite memories of our time living there together is when she came home from a night out and remembered that she was supposed to make brownies to take to work the next day.

Tired (and probably a little drunk), she mixed up a batch, put them in the oven, and — fell asleep on the couch, only to awake hours later in a smoke-filled living room! Never a quitter, she turned the contents of that pan out into our yard, and made another batch for her co-workers. When we moved out months later, that black brick of brownies was still in our yard. Not even the rats could eat it.

Shortly after we vacated the N Street house, Liz moved to London for a six month assignment with Accenture. It was at her going away party (at The Big Hunt? Lucky Bar?) that I met Holly. While Liz was in London, Holly and I started hanging out regularly, and when Liz returned (in 2001), we had our first three-person wine night and a tradition was formed.

During the past decade we’ve witnessed a lot: there have been boyfriends and break-ups, new jobs and promotions, long distance relationships, sisters moving and marrying, shared vacations, law school,  a proposal, a wedding, a pregnancy and a baby.

I’m definitely going to miss Liz and miss wine nights. But I have to remind myself: had she not moved to London, we wouldn’t have even had wine nights. So maybe her move to Atlanta, instead of marking the end to a tradition, is only the beginning of a new one.

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Mr. Chair: it was nice knowing you.

7 Sep

I’ve almost finished furnishing my new crib and am closing in on the final task of repainting the walls to match my new scheme. One of the last things I need to pick up is a casual chair for my living room. I’ve had my sites set on something with a bold print, and last week I thought I found just the thing:

But the thing is, it’s from TARGET. What? Since when does Target sell furniture? Don’t get me wrong – I’ve picked up the majority of my stuff from Room & Board or Crate & Barrel, so I’m all too happy to find a piece of furniture that doesn’t cost as much as a family vacation. But seriously? Target? I was concerned about the quality, but decided to go for it and ordered it online.

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Photo: You don’t say?

4 Sep

Frankly, I’m glad they told me. Because otherwise, I would’ve spent hours playing with it and wondering why I wasn’t having any fun…

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I don’t know how his kids turned out, but the grill named after him is AWESOME.

2 Sep

Used to be, if you had asked me which small appliance I could not live without, my answer would’ve been dustbuster, followed by food processor. These days, my answer would be a little tougher to formulate, because there’s a dark horse in the race: my George Foreman Grill.

George Foreman and his grill

Like the man, love the machine.

Dude. I know: these are designed for college students and senior citizens (presumably because it’s best if they have limited exposure to heating elements). But I’m starting to think I could host an entire Food Network show (or, perhaps more accurately, an infomercial) based on Foreman cuisine.

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