My sister lives about 30 minutes from my parents, so our tradition is to drive up and have dinner with her family on Christmas Eve. This year was no exception and it was almost 9pm when we pulled out of her driveway to return to my parents’ for the night.
Ten minutes later we were stopped at a red light near Briarwood Mall. Through the intersection, we saw three cars, all parked in weird places and at odd angles. Steam rose from the hood of the third car. “Do you suppose there’s been an accident?” my mom asked.
We were still puzzling it out when the third car suddenly reversed and peeled out, flying toward the mall and away from the accident at a break-neck pace. “Do you think he’s fleeing the scene?” my dad asked from the backseat.
That was the only nudge my mom needed to zip through the light and investigate. She pulled through the intersection, pausing next to the remaining car, where a man was standing outside it on his phone, looking incredulous. “Did that guy hit you?” my mom called out to him.
The guy confirmed that he had. “And did he just take off?” my mom continued. Again, the guy nodded. “Yeah – he just hit me and left. Can you believe that?”
“I’ll see if I can get him,” my mom told him, goosing her Prius into action. Had she owned a police light, she would’ve rolled her window down and smacked it on the roof. We sped into the Briarwood complex, the parking lot and surrounding streets deserted from the earlier crush of shoppers.
As we started winding our way along the street circling the mall, something caught my mom’s eye off to the side. There, parked at a drive-thru bank, was a car with its lights off, steam still rising from its hood. “That’s him!” she yelled, cutting a wide, obvious u-turn to circle back to the bank.
Time-out as we assess my mom’s performance as a private eye for a moment:
- Pros: eagle eye, fearlessness
- Cons: discretion, stealth
No sooner had we pulled into the bank parking lot than the “perp” hopped back in his car and sped away. (He’d been standing outside it, presumably assessing the damage and calling a friend to pick him up). Mom, no shrinking violet (see pros listed above), pulled out right after him yelling for me to call the police.
What then ensued was was a game of cat and mouse as we tailed this guy all through the Briarwood parking lot, with my mom trying to get close enough for us to read the license plate, my dad trying to figure out the last four digits on the plate, and me shouting the letters we could see to the police dispatch, all as the guy did his best to lose us. It was a scene worthy of Home Alone.
Finally the guy DID manage to lose us – mainly because I urged my mom to stop matching his speed. (Sorry, mom!) We’d only been able to identify three of the seven digits for the police, but they also had the make/model and year of the vehicle, so between that and the fact that his radiator was probably out of fluid and would grind the car to a halt soon, they seemed fairly confident they’d find him.
“If only you guys had let me really chase him, we could’ve nailed his ass,” Mom sighed.
“Well, if you’d been driving my van, we could’ve used my binoculars to get the plate without needing to chase him,” Dad sighed.
At that I had to laugh, imagining the call the police would’ve received about US if my parents had gotten their Christmas wishes:
“I’d like to report a Prius driving recklessly in the Briarwood parking lot. It’s going about 60 mph, ignoring the pavement markers. It appears to be driven by two white-haired grandparents – and one of them seems to be trying to birdwatch!”
However you spent YOUR Christmas, I hope it was memorable!
pithypants 
Exactly what my daughter and I would have done. Merry Christmas, pithy!
Gave a bit more chase than Santa!
Too funny!
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Good Blogging!
Thanks for reading – and happy new year to you!!
I had this James Bond-esq ding-di-di-ding-ding song in my head as I read this. Wish you had gotten some of it on video!
Good lord. It was all I could do to talk with the po-po while my mom was whipping around. We needed someone else in the backseat with a phone to film us. Too bad Alan wasn’t there.
I LOVE THIS!! Go Alison’s Mom! Thank goodness for good samaritans (I don’t mean you, Alison, since clearly you would have just driven on by…) HA!
Don’t encourage her. She’s thinking this is a good foundation for a second career in law enforcement now that she’s retired…
This is a spectacular ad for Prius. Who knew it could possibly pull this off? Don’t forget, a Prius IS stealthy. Silent engine and whatnot. (Maybe not so much silent passengers… I gotta believe that was a mildly terrifying thrill ride…)
How could I forget about the Prius’s stealth? After all, I was hit by one (silently) and bounced off its windshield…