I have a half-dozen, half-baked posts that I just don’t have the attention span to finish. So instead, I’ll regale you with snippets.
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Snippet #1:
On Friday I made fresh tortilla soup for dinner. The recipe called for a diced jalapeño, so I went to town on the pepper. Unfortunately, my allergies were also going to town, which apparently caused me to brush my nose/mouth at some point after I’d finished chopping.
Alan arrived home from work to find me in tears (from an especially pungent chopped onion), ranting that my face felt like fire ants were attacking it. Pretty sure neither of us wants me to bookmark that recipe for a repeat performance.
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Snippet #2:
At work, my battle with the woman who pees on the toilet seat continues. Last week I had to pass over three separate stalls because they had either been dribbled on or had a paper toilet seat cover still stuck to the toilet. Enraged might be a tad strong to describe my reaction, but it was enough to prompt me to post the following sign in the bathroom:
And guess what? No more pee on the seat for the rest of the week. Uh-mazing. Apparently she can read. Just not wipe.
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Snippet #3
Alan and I picked his kids up yesterday for his mom’s birthday celebration. On the ride to their house, this was the conversation:
Son (playing a video game): Sweet! I just made this camel spit!
Daughter: I’ve seen a camel.
Um, happy birthday?
Me: Did it spit?
Daughter: No, but it had diarrhea.
Me: Seriously? Where was this?
Daughter: At my friend’s birthday party.
Me: Were you guys at the zoo?
Daughter: No. They had a petting zoo thing come to their house.
Me: So a camel had diarrhea in your friend’s backyard?
Daughter: Uh-huh. It was gross.
Me: That’s awesome.
Son: Now I’m riding a cockatrice!
Me: Was there one of THOSE at the birthday party?
pithypants 