Making Friends at the Office

31 Mar
Ah yes...

Ah yes…

My office recently moved to a new location. The space is beautiful, and – as a special perk – we’re excited that the new ladies’ room has six stalls, automatic flushers and stall doors that lock. (I know: We’re SPOILED.)

We share our floor with four other tenants, one of whom I met the other day – as chance would have it – in the bathroom. Well, I didn’t really meet her, but I did encounter her.

I entered the bathroom and there she was, a set of feet peeking out of the second stall with pants pooled around her ankles. (Question: have you ever let your pants touch the floor of a public restroom? I go out of my way to hoist them so that my cuffs won’t even touch, but that might be my OCD shining through. Discuss.)

So I entered my stall and heard her talking. At first I thought it was to me, but then I realized – based on the incomplete sentences punctuated by silence – that she was on the phone. I was incredulous.

Screen Shot 2013-03-31 at 12.43.07 PM


Also? I did my best to pee as loudly as possible in an attempt to “out” her poor behavior. She remained unfazed.

“Must be talking with a family member,” I thought.

But then she said, “OK, Dave. Thanks for the update. I’ll  loop in the home office then circle back to you. Want to send me a meeting invite?” Which clearly isn’t anything you’d say to your spouse, right?

Before she could wrap up the call, I did what any normal person would do: I flushed. Twice. Just to make sure her colleague knew with certainty that she had called him from a bathroom stall.

If it happens again, I’ve already worked out my strategy. I’m going to pound on the stall wall and shout, “My God! Ever hear of a courtesy flush?”

I really love our new office.

4 Responses to “Making Friends at the Office”

  1. batgirl April 1, 2013 at 9:22 am #

    ha I do the same thing — a lady I know used to do that and it drove me crazy – so I flushed as much as possible like 6 times — that is just gross — I don’t get people sometimes

  2. thesinglecell April 1, 2013 at 10:37 am #

    Okay, I had to read this twice because the first time I got distracted by how unbelievably hairy that guy is in the picture. But no, I never let my clothes touch the floor, because gross. And also, it is entirely unacceptable to talk to anyone on the phone while in a bathroom, but I will allow for it if you are in your own bathroom at home and you mute the phone whilst making potty noises.

  3. hollybernabe April 1, 2013 at 4:25 pm #

    Ugh. That shit pisses me off. (puns intended) Anyhow, it’s totally rude to be on the phone in a public bathroom. I mean, I don’t need to have my bodily functions broadcasted to gosh knows who on the other end.

  4. Anna Lea West April 19, 2013 at 7:55 am #

    Are you for real? Like, for real-real? UNREAL. Sorry for the repeats, but I’m kind of stunned. What is WRONG with people? I was shaking my head no with just the pants-around-the-ankles situation … but the the rest? Just no.

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