Archive | 8:35 pm

Quick: where can I buy a burkini?

10 Mar

I made a horrible mistake: I was at the store last week and decided to try on a swimsuit. GASP. The horror.

I usually don’t spend a lot of time obsessing over my body. As long as it’s strong and doesn’t prevent me from doing something, I’m generally happy with it. I’ve never, actually, been on a diet of any kind in my life. Which might explain how I ended up accidentally ended up piling on the Freshman 30 (that’s a thing, right?) at MSU without realizing it.

And yet, there I was, viewing myself in the three-way mirror, realizing that the bikini bottoms looked more like the twist that separates sausage links than simply something simply covering my butt crack. It served to bisect my body, allowing the top half to pile up on the lower half.

And now I’ve just booked a ticket to visit my aunt in Florida in three weeks. Which means some drastic action is required.

No, not a diet. BE REAL.

Does anyone know where Nigella Lawson purchased this little number?

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