I took the bronze in sarcasm.

12 Aug

The Olympics are over? Seems like they just started. I really wish they’d drag them out for the full summer – or at least a month – so I could enjoy them. This year I feel like I missed the events I really care about – diving and women’s gymnastics – and only managed to tune in for the more obscure events.

Here are few observations from what I did see:

  • Equestrian jumping: Who designed the course? Add a water element, a windmill or a dinosaur and I’d mistake it for a putt-putt course.
  • Table tennis: I was quick to discount this since the equipment is most commonly used in America for beer pong tournaments, but after watching a few matches, I’ve withdrawn my judgement. They should just rename the sport “Trigger Reflex” so it’s more accurate.
  • Beach volleyball: Apparently this is the first year the women weren’t required to wear bikinis. Um, seems like you should be able to wear whatever you want as long as it doesn’t give you an unfair advantage (like stilts or a jetpack).
  • Men’s pommelhorse: I don’t have testicles, but this event makes me cringe because it looks like they’re perpetually on the brink of smashing their nuts. Which begs the question: Do gymnasts wear cups?
  • Canoeing: These guys look like Gondoliers fathered by the Hulk.
  • Trampoline: It’s like diving but with a ton of height and without the water. It’s no wonder Cirque du Soleil sends talent scouts to the Games. Brilliant.
  • Hoops: I was prepared to make fun of this one, but it’s actually pretty mesmerizing. I imagine that these women go on to perform as exotic dancers during the off-season, but maybe that’s just because our DVR got stuck with a woman in a rather suggestive position. “That’s unfortunate,” I commented. Alan’s response? “Let’s leave that up for a few minutes.”

What events caught your attention?

8 Responses to “I took the bronze in sarcasm.”

  1. Barbara August 12, 2012 at 8:38 am #

    I wish I had seen some of the more obscure events! We felt like the nightly broadcasts were only showing the most common events. Although I did catch the competitive trampoline last Saturday morning, and it.was.awesome. Now I have a worthy reason for buying one for B as soon as she’s old enough to enjoy it 🙂

  2. amandakash August 12, 2012 at 8:49 am #

    I agree. I hate that I’m only home to see the previously recorded highlights. Especially since someone usually has already told me the result of said highlights.

  3. Harry August 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    I watched nearly all of the sports and really enjoyed them all but it helped being in the same time zone, and also being retired 🙂

  4. Sharon August 12, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    Oh – thank you for your humor/sarcasm. You had me literally laughing at a few of your observations, as I was right there with you….the pommelhorse? i felt my jaw tightening the entire time watching…beer pong? Damn, that would be no fun if you had a quarter of their talent!

  5. thesinglecell August 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    I only got to watch on my days off, and actually I was quite happy to see stuff like swimming, diving, volleyball, track & field and gymnastics. I also saw BMX bike racing, which I still think belongs more to the X-Games set, but I have been repeatedly overlooked for a position on the International Olympic Committee, so it’s still in the Olympics. Today I glanced at a television and saw ribbon-twirling and hula hooping. And I frankly don’t care what anyone says… the gold medal in ribbon-twirling is NOT the same as the gold medal in the 5,000M run or the marathon swim. It’s just not. It should be, like, chocolate wrapped in gold foil compared to that. Still, I’m sad that they’re over.

  6. Tin Roof Press August 13, 2012 at 5:54 am #

    I tried watching the pole vault. but no one seemed to be making it over the pole. If they had a limbo event that would be more fun. So i switched channels to Friends re-runs.

    • pithypants August 13, 2012 at 9:03 pm #

      So you didn’t find it fun to watch people crash into the bar? What’s wrong with you, Tin Roof?!

      • Tin Roof Press August 14, 2012 at 4:21 am #

        I know I know. Other people have asked me that. But Friends! Its been so long since i watched them I forgot all the jokes. There really needs to be a 24/7 Friends channel.

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