Yes, another fart post. There goes *that* resolution.

16 Jan

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My entire life, I’ve been told I “seem wiser than my age” or “have an old soul” or “am mature beyond my years.”

Boy, that “Playdoh with Plato” class my parents enrolled me in as a preschooler was money well spent. Actually, no, there isn’t really a class named that.

But as a kid I often did enjoy conversing with my parents’ adult friends more than kids my own age. When I first started working, I was given responsibility that aligned to someone 10+ years my senior because everyone assumed I was older. That trend continued for years.

So it’s somewhat ironic, then, that I function like a twelve year old when it comes to fart humor. I was reminded of this yesterday at yoga, when the girl next to me was clearly not having a good workout. When we started the ab portion of the class and began doing crunches, she squeaked out an audible fart. I would’ve been able to rise above it, were it not for one thing: her reaction.

Instead of continuing with her workout in a way that could’ve cast doubt as to who the culprit really was, she immediately collapsed onto her back and lay as still as a corpse while the rest of us continued hammering out crunches. It was the equivalent of seeing a football official throw a flag on a play, directing everyone’s attention to the field to spot the problem.

This gave me the giggles. I might have worked past them, had two other things not happened.

First, she did it again, the next time we did sit-ups. (Have you learned NOTHING?!) I’m thinking we need another version of the the, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice…” adage to help this poor girl learn from her mistakes.

And second, later in the workout, when we shifted from down-dog to plank (a very routine move) she collapsed. She hit the floor with an audible thud/moan combo. Half the class stopped and turned around, thinking they would see teeth scattered around on her mat.

I know, this really isn’t funny. And it’s mean of me to laugh at someone else’s embarrassment. I really do try to be a better person, to rise above it. But if it’s any excuse, I think things like this tickle me so much not because I’m enjoying her misfortune, but rather because I’m relieved it’s not me. Because another day, in another class, it has been very well could be.

 

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4 Responses to “Yes, another fart post. There goes *that* resolution.”

  1. Darlene Steelman January 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm #

    Ok, well, maybe I’m immature as well.. because i am picturing this in my head and it is funny.

    Yeah.. just go about your business and pretend like it came from somewhere else.

    I am totally with you on laughing. I laugh because it’s not me, but at some point in my life, it HAS been me. In almost any situation.

    Great post.

  2. Mind Margins January 16, 2012 at 9:51 pm #

    Hilarious. I’ve encountered the same situation in yoga class. I always get the giggles. Seeing that poor girl go stiff and unmoving would have sent me into convulsions.

    • pithypants January 17, 2012 at 6:36 am #

      I feel doubly bad because yoga is the kind of place where you should embrace all a body’s natural functions. Clearly I’m just there for the exercise.

  3. Lorna's Voice January 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    My step-grandfather solutes you! 😉 He lived for fart-humor. Low-brow/high-giggle-factor!

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