I think my yoga instructor was Brittany Pierce.

3 Apr

Confession: I’m an avid follower of Glee. It’s not for the plots (though I have been impressed with they way they’ve woven gay acceptance into the storyline) and it’s not for the singing (not a big fan of Journey, thanks.).

What’s left? Well, Brittany, of course. If you don’t understand what’s compelling about her, I’ll save you some time: it’s her lines. She is the master of ditzy deadpan.

"I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary."

So it makes me happy when life resembles celluloid and I run into someone who is Brittany-esque. Which is why my Saturday morning yoga class was pretty much awesome. I think my instructor was Brittany S. Pierce.

For starters, she was pretty bad at giving us clear directions, and I’m sure the newer students were scratching their heads through a lot of the sequences. But she called everything out with such exuberance and cheer that it was hard to get frustrated with her. She walked around grinning.

“You guys are doing awesome!” she encouraged us, right before telling us to, “Put your shoulder on your hip… um… I mean thigh!”

And there was definitely more than one, “Step forward with your left foot. I mean your OTHER left foot!”

It was like playing Twister with Gumby.

At some point, the sun came out and we heard her exclaim, “Oh look! The sun! Hi, Sun!”

While most yoga teachers use the sanskrit names for the poses (for example “chaturanga” is essentially a push-up), she didn’t even try. In fact, not only did she not use the sanskrit names, she didn’t use the standard English names either.

At one point she wanted us to lift into Virabhadrasana, known in English as Warrior Three. But instead of calling it either of those things, she said, “Now everybody do airplane!!” We all looked around at each other, confused. She beamed at us and said, “You know, AIRPLANE…” as she lifted up into this pose:

Image Source

But unlike every other yoga instructor I had, when she attempted this pose she couldn’t keep her balance. She immediately began wobbling around, and instead of the rest of us following her lead, we all just stood there and watched her as she toe-heeled her way around on her mat trying to keep from falling.

“Oh my gosh!” She exclaimed. “I drank coffee this morning and it’s totally affecting my balance! This is terrible!” Then, after a pause, “Oh wait. It’s not terrible. You’re never supposed to say something is terrible in yoga. But I don’t know what it is. It’s crazy!”

She finally wiped out, just as she finished her rant about coffee.

And then it was our turn to lift off into “airplane.” I think it’s the only time I’ve ever been smiling when I took flight.

One Response to “I think my yoga instructor was Brittany Pierce.”

  1. Alicia April 4, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    I’m too lazy to log in but I like this post (you have to log in to “like.”)

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