I think I’m ready to start a new blog.

31 Mar

Tonight, while stewing in annoyance (the most bitter spice), I realized I need to start a blog to vent about it.

My new blog will be TOTALLY anonymous (unlike this one, which is pseudo-anonymous) and it will be called “Don’t Get Me Started.”

Oh wait. I just checked for that domain, and someone already owns it. But isn’t doing shit with it, as evidenced by the “Under Construction” landing page.

Don’t get me started. People who buy up domain names then camp on them, hoping someone somewhere will invent something requiring their name so they can profit? Totally lame.

[Side note: Out of curiosity I just googled “expensive domain names.” As of 2010, the most expensive domain in the world was Insure.com, for which cost some company I’ve never heard of $16m to buy. To the donkey dick who first called dibs on insure.com: I could say “well played” or reference the irony of your domain choice, but — don’t get me started.]

[Second side note: Any guesses on the other nine most expensive domains? Two are general business words (funds, business); two others are direct goods (diamonds, toys) and four of them – not surprising – are vices (sex, porn, beer, casino). The wildcard in the Top Ten? Israel. Anyone think a wealthy Palestinian with a sense of humor is responsible for that?]

Revised new domain idea: pissandvinegar.fml

So back to my new blog. Things I will fictitiously blog about on it:

Facebook name-droppers. (“Can’t believe I saw Renee Zellweger at my gym!”) I can’t believe you give two shits. Or is the more incredible part that we are to believe you went to the gym?

Incompetent people I encounter during business hours. Demonstrating amazing restraint on this one. Mainly because I enjoy receiving paychecks.

Douchy behavior by public servants (meter maids, police, etc.). Oops – too late. I *did* get started on this one.

My noisy neighbor and his (lack of) sleep habits. Ditto.

People who become so consumed by parenthood that they can’t talk about anything but their kids. If I cared, I would’ve popped one out.

Companies that use my blog content and don’t pay me for it, even in coupons. (Hi, HomemadePizzaCo!)

Employees who get caught in lies with their FB statuses. Out sick from work? Interesting choice to go bungee jumping that night. Or tweet that you’re hungover. Nice work, social media.

Actually, now that I’ve just listed some of my annoyances I realize I don’t need to be anonymous about it. I’ve already written about most of these at some point. Hell, I even have a category titled “rants,” so it’s not like this is virgin territory for me.

So I guess instead of starting a new blog, I’ll just see if I can find a buyer for my pissandvinegar domain. After all, that’s not a huge stretch in the potato chip industry. I can imagine it now: my retirement, sponsored by Ruffles.

Don’t even get me started…

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