Tag Archives: Sue Sylvester

Warning: Men might want to skip this one.

25 Jan
WARNING: Today’s post is brought to you by the Flashback Machine and True Stories of Teenage Girls. If you are a man, hate embarrassing stories, or don’t care to take a trip down memory lane, then you might want to skip this one.

Wow. That didn’t throw you? Good. Because I’m pretty sure my third paragraph will.

I swam a mile before work yesterday at one of DC’s public pools. A local high school swim team was there practicing as well, which always brings back fond memories of my own high school days… even though I was a diver an couldn’t be PAID to swim laps at that point in life. (Probably because of my preternaturally high metabolism.) I digress.

So what is memorable about yesterday’s swim is this: the bloody footprints leading into (and around) the locker room.

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What the Groundhog is to spring, I am to winter.

15 Nov

I’ll admit, with global warming in full effect, it’s easy to lose track of the seasons. (Note: I did not say “loose.” For some reason, otherwise intelligent people are rampantly using “loose” instead of “lose.” Perhaps Facebook is making us dumber?)

Grammar done; now back to the weather: I see that friends in Chicago had 70 degree temperatures last week – normally unheard of for November.

Well, as a special service, I’ll share a tip that’s more useful than calendar or a thermometer if you want to know when we’ve officially left fall behind and shifted to winter: it’s my All-Fleece Uniform.

That’s right… just as a groundhog’s shadow might tell you that spring is quickly on its way, seeing me decked out in solid grey fleece from head to toe is a pretty good indication that warm days are behind us. I think even Sue Sylvester would admire the frequency with which I don this ensemble once cold weather strikes.

And in case you were wondering: yes, it IS the same top and bottom every day. What? Did you think I had seven of them folded in my drawer? Not *this* girl. I’m wearing the EXACT SAME fleece warm up suit every single day. Yep. There are only two words to describe it: pretty awesome.

(I do feel compelled to note that when the temperature dips, you can find me in the bathtub or shower 2-3 times/day in an attempt to warm up. So while I might be wearing the exact same clothes repeatedly, I’d like to think I’m still cleaner than the average person.)

Carry on. Next up: flannel sheets for my bed.