Tag Archives: Nature

Doing what comes naturally…

4 Apr

After I left for college, my parents moved to the country and built a house that backs to woods and a river. They’ve spent a good portion of their retirement staring out at the river through binoculars or a spotting scope, monitoring the wildlife. They both enjoy it, and for my dad – who is a retired biology teacher – it’s about as good as it gets.

It’s wood duck mating season, and to help with their population efforts, my dad has constructed wood duck houses and attached them to trees all through the woods. In years past, we’ve seen the down-covered hatchlings emerge from the house and drop 15 feet to the ground in their maiden “flight.” This year, I’m here in time for mating season, and the river is wild with activity as ducks shop for mates.

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I’m supposed to be the only one who takes a job THAT seriously

3 Apr

Dear Mr. Rooster,

Yes, I hear you. It’s 6:46am and because I’m a freak of nature, I’ve been up and working since 5:30am. So yes, I heard your very first cockadoodledoo this morning, and to your credit, I thought it was cute. “Ah look,” I said to myself, “I’m in the COUNTRY. A natural alarm clock!” I kicked my feet around in my soft line-dried sheets, enjoyed the unseasonably warm breeze that blew through my window and reveled in all things rural.

But you’ve been going at this for a solid 15 minutes now, and I’m beginning to wonder: Where is the fire? You’re starting to sound hoarse and I don’t understand how you’re even finding time to breathe between bleets any more. I appreciate your dedication, but buddy, it’s a Saturday. I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think anyone is listening.

Oh wait – apparently your friend, Lazy Dan, can hear you, because now he’s joined you. Only, he sounds more like he’s screaming bloody murder than actually crowing. The two of you make quite a tag team out there. He’s Laverne to your Shirley – or perhaps Lennie to your Squiggy? Between the two of you, I’m thinking the sound of police sirens and chopper blades in DC would be a bit more restful.

In closing, a question for you: how did you reset your clock for Daylight Savings Time? I mean, it’s not like you wear a wristwatch on that little foot of yours, and I can’t imagine that three weeks ago you were cawing at 5:45 am.

That’s all. Keep up the good work over there. I’m sure our neighbors appreciate your efforts, even if they’re blatantly ignoring you and sleeping in this morning. At least I hope so, because otherwise you might be on the path to cock soup.

Regards,

Alison