Tag Archives: dumb blonde

Surprisingly, I’m not a natural blonde.

21 Jan

You know that sports expression about “leaving it all on the field?” (Or as we say in yoga: leaving it on the mat.) Well, I had that kind of week at work.

In fact, I left so much on the mat, it appears I didn’t save anything for the weekend. In an uncharacteristic move, I spent most of today on the couch, napping and listening to an audiobook (repeatedly, since I couldn’t stay awake).

I finally peeled myself off the couch at 4:30 to go to yoga. There was a class in session, so I took my shoes off and plopped on a seat, waiting for it to end. Then, self-doubt kicked in. What time is it? Is that MY class? Am I late? 

I pulled out my cell phone to check the time. Nope: still five minutes until class. Whew.

But I couldn’t remember there being a class on the schedule immediately before mine, so I pulled my phone back out to check. And that’s when I realized: I had hoofed it to the studio for a class that is scheduled tomorrow. Awesome.

Perhaps I need a pedicure?

Shaking my head, I put my shoes back on and sheepishly walked back downstairs. As I passed the front desk, I shrugged and explained, “I’m a dumbass.  I was thinking today was Sunday. See you tomorrow instead!” The girl just laughed and waved me out.

I walked half way home before realizing I didn’t have my yoga mat with me any more. So I had to turn around and go back to the studio. When I walked through the door, the girl said, “Sunday, already?” Clever. Ass-whooping time, already? 

I retrieved my mat and headed back home, returning to the couch I never should’ve left in the first place. Turns out ? There’s a fine line between leaving it all on the mat, and just plain leaving the mat.


How quickly we forget…

26 Sep

I was in LA all last week for work, turning in 12+ hour days while battling a cold. This week I’m off to NYC for more of the same, so I took it easy over the weekend. By which I mean: I spent all of Sunday rolling around on my couch, reading and napping, which is completely out of character for me.

Before I tell you this next part, I would like to reiterate: I was VERY tired. And I was alternating between a hard copy of Bon Appetit magazine and an iPad version of Vanity Fair, so what happened next is somewhat understandable.

Instead of turning the page of the magazine, I took my finger and slid it on the article, trying to get it to move up the page. Except, it turns out that only works on an iPad. Not on a real magazine.

As soon as I did it, I was a bit sheepish because it called to mind more than one dumb blonde technology joke: Using white out on a computer screen; Asking someone to fax over a blank piece of paper.

I am convinced: technology is making me dumber.