Mother Knows Best

22 Jan

Anyone who knows my mom knows there are two words that would never describe her: modest is one, sensitive is the other.

I could fill novels – and might – with stories of how these two anti-traits manifested throughout my childhood. In the interest of time, I’ll share a recent example that may serve as shorthand for both her sense of humor and her lack of sensitivity.

If you read my previous post, you know I can be pretty obsessed by the threat of bugs. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my parents were deluged by emails from me this week on the topic. I provided them with a blow-by-blow report of my bites, my mental process and my anticipated attack plan from the road.

My dad wrote back with advice on diagnosing the problem and links to helpful articles. My mom responded with the following one-liner:

I think you got them from Alan… mom

Awesome. Just remember that I come by it honestly.

Night, night, sleep tight…

21 Jan

Last night, within five minutes of walking into my apartment building after landing on a flight from Chicago, I was standing in the building’s stairwell, stripped naked with my clothes in a pile. Ten minutes later, my mattress was turned on end and my bedding was on the floor.

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Chicago: Am I the only person…

20 Jan

…who experiences “sea legs” after crossing one of Chicago’s bridges on foot while a bus drives over it? (It bobs and sways enough that I feel like I’m walking on a trampoline afterward.)

…who looks at ice floating down the river, sees it as a game of Frogger and starts mentally selecting the chunks of ice I think would support me to get across if I needed to?

Dinner?

…who wonders if the pigeons that stand a bit too close to Chicago’s Eternal Flame when warming themselves ever stand there too long and become roasted chicken for the homeless?

…who finds it odd how empty the downtown streets are around 6pm on a weeknight? I’ve never seen another city where so many people routinely get off work at 5pm on the dot. I thought that was a myth of the 50s.

…who doesn’t understand why homeless people stay in Chicago when they could panhandle in warmer climates?

Is it me or the eggs? Be honest.

19 Jan

I know everyone thinks salespeople just wine and dine clients, that our lives are an endless schmooze-fest of extravagant meals, golf scrambles and executive boxes at sporting venues. Maybe I’m the exception, but I’ve never worked for a company where that was part of the package. (Perhaps because I really don’t consider myself a salesperson and wouldn’t be attracted to a company that wanted me to play the part?)

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Travel Notebook: Chicago in January

19 Jan

I travel a lot for work. Usually I slide in on a Monday morning and peel out Wednesday or Thursday afternoons. This week I arrived in Chicago a day early so I could visit my college roommate, Karen before all hell broke loose on the work-front.

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