Archive | Travel RSS feed for this section

Where the strangers are friendly… and pogo sticks are helpful?

13 Jan

Today my work brought me from Chicago up to Milwaukee. I’ve been here two other times, and each time, it has left me wanting.

Not because there’s anything inherently wrong with Milwaukee, it’s just that I expect to see two people (specifically Laverne & Shirley) dancing down the streets on their way to work at a bottling plant. And it hasn’t happened. Yet. (I remain hopeful.)

This morning I was debating between the 6am or 8:30am train from Union Station in Chicago. I harkened back to my last visit, and remembered the odd desolation of Union Station at 6am. I arrived at 5:30am and the place was DESERTED until 5:55. If memory serves, I went so far as to take off my belt in case I needed to clock someone in the head with the buckle.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Tip: Until you’ve mastered the language, try a thesaurus.

11 Jan

I’m as guilty as the next girl of cursing like a sailor. But I’d like to think I generally maintain awareness of my surroundings and tailor my language to my audience. (My parents might disagree.)

This morning in National Airport I had the joy of sitting next to two women in their early 30s who clearly thought they were hot shit (despite wearing sweatpants in public) and wanted to broadcast their badness to the world at large.

It was odd because – aside from their poor fashion – they seemed like reasonably intelligent, articulate women. Until they fired up the profanity.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , ,

Just when you think you know someone…

3 Jan

…there’s a record scratch and you’re all, “What the hell?!”

At least, that’s how it played out this weekend in Berkeley Springs. We were walking down the main street (better known as Washington Street, in case you’re curious) when I spotted an SPCA poster with photos of animals through the window of a consignment shop.

“Alan!” I yelled. Kind of like this:

And a few minutes later, there we were, standing in front of a large  poster board display of cats and dogs needing adoption. I was studying the descriptions when I heard Alan say, “Do you think they planned this, or is this song a coincidence?”

I stepped back and listened, registering Sarah McLachlan’s song, “Angel.”

Continue reading →

Tags: , , , ,

So classy, we wore our matching hoodies.

2 Jan

For the second year running, Alan and I rang in the new year at the state lodge in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia.

Just because you’re probably expecting it, I’m not going to make any jokes about Deliverance. (I think I’m maturing: this trip I didn’t even harass Alan with remarks like, “You sure have a pretty mouth” when he’d leave me to go to the bathroom.)

But I will share a snippet from the drive on Saturday when, utterly hungover from New Year’s Eve, Alan and braved the curvy backroads to find a bar called “Hillbilly Heaven” where people assured us we would be able to watch the bowl games.

“Hillbilly Heaven. Any chance that’s what they tell all the city folks just to set us up if we have to stop and ask for directions?” I continued, “I mean, can you imagine pulling over and asking someone where Hillbilly Heaven is? Sounds kind of insulting.”

“The way this road is going, I’m wondering if they’re sending us to Hillbilly Hell,” Alan offered.

“Hmmm… Hillbilly Hell? So that would be all yuppie-like, where you definitely couldn’t find Pabst Blue Ribbon and where you’d actually need teeth to eat the food, right?”

Definitely going to hell of some sort for that one. Hillbilly or otherwise.

Tags: , , , , ,

I do… believe that would be a good joke!

26 Oct

I didn’t post this past week because I went to Miami for a work conference. Alan tagged along because we scored a cheap flight and why WOULDN’T he stow-away for a weekend somewhere fun?

There will be follow-up posts that cover the following topics:

  • The $20 mandatory resort fee
  • People expecting tips for something I’d rather do for myself
  • Accidentally tipping our server $35 because he added gratuity to our tab and didn’t disclose it – for buffalo wings
  • The awesome chicken and black beans we had at a Cuban hole in the wall
  • Breasts
  • The quality of our hotel room – and my fear of losing the security deposit

You have been warned.

For now, I’ll keep it simple with this first post…

Yep. Kind of like this. But not quite.

Saturday we attended a wedding on the beach. By “attended” I mean: the wedding was set up, and our chaise lounges were the closest non-wedding chairs involved and no one asked us to move. (In our defense, we didn’t realize the wedding was in motion until it was already underway – we thought it was a rehearsal until the guy pulled rings out of his pocket… in no small part because he was ALSO holding a bouquet of flowers, which was odd.)

Anyway – there we sat in swim trunks and a bikini (one each, not both on both of us) witnessing their vows, and when the bride kissed the groom, we clapped.

So that’s fun, right? Well, even more fun is what I was thinking BEFORE the wedding took place…

After they built the altar (billowy gauze with ferns around it in front of the ocean), I leaned over to Alan…

“Do you have your phone?” I asked.

“No. Why?”

I gestured at the altar. “How hilarious would it be if we took a picture of us there and posted it to Facebook with the caption, ‘Guess what we did this weekend!?!'”

He looked at the altar. He looked at me. He shook his head at my perverse idea of a gag.

I kept giggling, right up until the real couple walked down the aisle and tied their knot.

I know: what is wrong with me?

Tags: , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →