Archive | Cooking RSS feed for this section

I think I might explode.

8 Mar

Whoa. I finally got around to cutting the fresh bacon slab I ordered from Arganica last week.

(For those of you in the DC area, an Arganica membership is worth it just to get this meat; if you live in Pennsylvania, then you can just walk your sweet ass over to Schmidt’s – assuming you can find Steelton, PA – and pick up a slab.)

And yes, you heard me correctly: the bacon arrived fresh in a slab, meaning it was uncut. That’s why it’s extra fun and super special.

Tonight I hacked the pound into “lardons” (see THIS for an explanation if – like my sister – you think a lardon is a hard-on caused by bacon), and decided to fry up a few to make a Salade Paysanne for dinner. I haven’t had a true Salade Paysanne since I lived in France, but tonight’s meal brought it all back. If only I’d had a glass of Cotes du Rhone to go with it, my memory would be complete.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , ,

Somehow, this goes from bargains to bacon with a little French thrown in for kicks.

2 Mar

I’m not a shopaholic by traditional standards. Anyone who has seen my wardrobe will gladly vouch for that.

But I *am* a bargain hunter, so the whole online coupon thing has turned into something of an addiction for me. I subscribe to Groupon, LivingSocial, Homerun and Greenbacks. I’ve bought at least one deal through each of those sites, and multiple deals from multiple cities for Groupon and Living Social.

If you’re not familiar with them, the premise is this: you spend a certain amount of money to get a specific deal (generally twice the value of what you’ve spent). You’re essentially pre-paying to get yourself a 50% discount. The catch is that you have to use your deal before it expires (generally 6-12 months) or the vendor gets your money and you get nothing.

In addition to trying over a dozen restaurants this way, I’ve also purchased:

  • A store credit at French boutique
  • An intro pottery class
  • A helicopter tour of Chicago
  • An Executive Suite at the Wyndham Chicago
  • Yoga classes
  • Massages
  • Amazon gift cards
  • A credit at a wine shop
  • Cupcakes

I’ve tried so many yoga studios in DC this way, I could probably write an educated article reviewing them for Yoga Journal.

Anyway, the deal that has me WILDLY excited (to the point that it’s why I even started this post) is a six month membership to Arganica. Argani-wha?

Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I didn’t need medicating until I went to your pharmacy.

23 Dec

Fifty cents per can? It's like they're paying us to drink it. (Wait: they kind of have to.)

I remember learning in seventh grade that ambrosia is “food of the gods.” I’m wondering if there’s another succinct term that means “white trash provisions.” Because that’s what Alan I were clearly holding as we stood in line at Walgreens Monday night: frozen buffalo wings, frozen pizza rolls, frozen taquitos, two Gatorades, a Diet Mt. Dew and a six pack of Big Flats, a beer that Walgreens sells for $3/six pack.

Alan seemed embarrassed by our selections, but – I pointed out – it’s not like they had any salads for sale.

We were on our way to my friend Shannon’s house for the night, and we’d told her we would eat dinner before heading over. Neither of us was really hungry though, so we ended up just grabbing some munchies to pop in the oven later in the evening. Which is how we ended up in line at a Walgreens.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , , ,

My dinner is less interesting than your panties. Probably.

13 Dec

One of the interesting acoustic features of my condo is that the wall separating my kitchen from my neighbor’s kitchen is strictly a privacy shield. It does nothing to block the noise.

Fortunately, of all the rooms in my place, that’s the one in which I’m most comfortable with eavesdropping (or being overheard). A few months ago I posted on Facebook something along the lines of, “It sounds like my neighbors have a pet goat.” This weekend I got to the bottom of that mystery. It is my neighbor, singing.

Apparently the guy is tone deaf. Saturday night we was in the kitchen loading the dryer and I heard him trying to belt out some hiphop. And it sounded like a goat bleating. Bless his heart.

He interrupted the song to tell someone that it was a good thing he was doing laundry because he was out of clean underwear. He went on to inform us that he had considered turning his underwear inside-out to get a few more days out of them, but had ultimately decided that would just make his pants dirty.

Whew.

I thought about pulling up a chair and just sitting there to see what else I could learn, since the guy was cracking me up, but it was about that time my fire turned all kinds of ape-shit crazy in the living room, forcing me to run out and get my fire extinguisher.

Fast forward to Sunday night. I’m in the kitchen alone, frying up bacon, onion and mushrooms in a skillet. And I find myself saying – to absolutely no one other than myself – “Oh hells yeah. This is some awesomeness right here. A skillet of bacon, onions and mushrooms for dinner? Who’s jealous? Who’s jealous?”

Except, I wasn’t exactly SAYING it. I was kind of shrieking it because I was excited. And that’s when I heard the distinct sound of my neighbor’s dryer starting. Which means he was probably over there pointing at the wall so his girlfriend could hear me going bananas for a non-nutritional dinner.

At least he’s clear: I’m not a goat. Hells no.

Tags: , , ,

Recipe: Roasted brussel sprout slaw

9 Dec

One of the ironies I appreciate about myself is that I love to cook (and fancy myself a pretty good one), but 80% of my diet is crap.

Let’s take today, for instance. Breakfast? A plate of microwaved Geno’s Pizza Rolls. Lunch? Microwaved cheese enchiladas from “Amy’s Organics.” (Purchased NOT because it’s organic, but instead because it was cheesy.) Afternoon snack? Leftover crab dip with fried pita chips from last night’s work party – and a stack of chocolate covered pretzels, also from the party.

Sadly, the only thing exceptional about today’s meals was the number: I usually eat about six meals a day.

Which brings me to NOW. I’m sitting in my recliner, kicked back next to the fire listening to the soundtrack to “A Charlie Brown Christmas” while in my oven, brussel sprouts and cauliflower are roasting.


Yes, the same girl who regularly consumes 3000 calories in simple sugar each day also craves brussel sprouts.

And as a holiday gift to you, my lone reader, I offer up this suggestion:

Shred some bussel sprouts so they’re the consistency of coleslaw. Add some small cauliflower florets. Toss with olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, salt and pepper. Heat your oven to 400 degrees. Roast for 20-30 minutes, or until brussel sprouts begin to brown. Eat.

Pair with a Stouffer’s French Bread Pepperoni Pizza for optimal results.

You’re welcome.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →