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News Flash: apparently when I’m sick, I’m cranky.

5 Feb

Admittedly, I was feeling rather sorry for my sick self yesterday when I reported on my recent experience at the library, so my tone was probably a bit more bitchy/whiny than pithy. In fact, it’s hard to be pithy when you’re sick.

Anyway, it wasn’t one of my funnier posts. Unfortunately, it drew a record number of hits, apparently because a librarian stumbled upon it and tweeted it out, presumably to an audience of other librarians. And in case you hadn’t made the connection: librarians read.

The link was teed up as, “These posts make me so sad. Another lost library patron…” which left me scratching my head.

Did the tweet mean that the library had lost me as a patron or that I was a clueless human being? Was my post sad because of how it was written or because of the service I had received?

(I re-read my post and was embarrassed that my self-pity had come across as a mean-spirited assessment of the librarian’s mental capacity.)

Then I saw that this same tweeting librarian was playing with the idea of offering a reward for non-librarians to write something positive about libraries. And the thought that librarians feel like they have to pay for positive publicity made ME sad. Because the truth is, I love libraries.

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New year = new bed. A big girl bed.

2 Jan

There are some purchases that make a person feel adult: like one’s first car or first home. For me, it was a new bed. (Ironically, I realized I also purchased a Blanky Boo Boo this week. We call that a “juxtaposition,” people.)

I’ve been sleeping on the same mattress for 12 years. Which would be impressive even if it were a pimped out Posturepedic I received as a hand-me-down from my parents. Unfortunately, this bed’s pedigree is even more dubious… I bought it for $50 off a girl whose room in a group house I took over in DC.

Nothing says high-class like a no-name mattress bought in cash off a stranger.

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Give me a chance to wash it before you call me PigPen.

29 Dec

Uh oh. Just as I’m getting ready to sit down and craft my resolutions for 2011, I’m on the road to developing a new vice.

Yesterday I stopped by Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up drapes and a curtain rod for my bedroom in an attempt to add a layer of insulation to my double windows. Of course, no trip to BB&B is complete without a ridiculous impulse buy, so upon arriving home I somehow found myself in possession of this item:

Note: one side is fleece, the other is like a little lamb.

I am already in possession of two afghans, so I’m not sure why I needed another throw blanket. At least, I wasn’t sure until I sat under it. Holy shit. I now know what babies feel like when given their first Blanky Boo Boo. It was warm… it was soft… it even seemed to snuggle back, if that’s possible. At times I found myself reaching down and petting it, as if it were a kitten.

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Rub me, love you long time.

8 Dec

I still have about a hundred dollars in my flex spending account for the year, money I need to use or lose before January. Since I tend to be Ms. Frugality, you can imagine how I feel about potentially forfeiting my own money at the turn of the year.

As a result, I’ve been coming up with creative ways to use it. I’ve stockpiled vitamins and calcium tablets. I went to the dermatologist for a basic body check to make sure none of my moles was cancerous. And last night I got a massage.

Let’s just agree: if my receipt for this massage gets approved for reimbursement, I’m going to kick myself for not figuring this out sooner. I LOVE massages.

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Kale, Gobstoppers and Gangstas: let’s just agree – it takes skill to weave those together.

15 Nov

I’m sitting in my living room, waiting for the kitchen timer to go off, signaling that my kale chips are ready.

That’s right, people, I said kale chips.

(As a side note, let me do a poll: is it just as effective when I say “people” instead of “bitches” like that? Because I like throwing around the word “bitches” for emphasis like I’m gangsta, but I worry that my blog might become a bit too ghetto, and one of my friends’ parents would read it and say, “Why, that Alison has such a MOUTH on her… really, it’s quite unnecessary how much she swears…” without realizing I’m not actually swearing, but being hip and clever. Talk amongst yourselves and report back.)

So back to my kale chips. Let’s start by defining what they are NOT. They are NOT cow chips, wow chips, chocolate chips, or chipwiches. In fact, they don’t actually resemble potato chips.

Did I mention they’re made of kale? But because they have been spritzed with olive oil, generously doused in salt and spices, and baked until crispy, it turns out they make a fine substitute for potato chips. Except with slightly more nutritional value. Seriously, if you doubt me, you must try them… comment and I’ll post the simple/quick recipe.

The only downside is that after you eat them you definitely need to do a tooth-check before venturing out in public because you’ve essentially thrown black/green/purple confetti in your mouth.

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