Introducing… Miss Moneypenny!

2 Jul

I got a cat.

I know what you’re thinking: Aren’t you ALLERGIC to cats? Didn’t you give BACK a kitten once? How will a cat work with your OCD tendencies?

Or maybe you’re not thinking that at all – maybe I’m projecting?

To answer your (my) questions:

  1. Yes. I am allergic to cats. But my intestines are apparently allergic to food and I haven’t stopped eating. At least I can pet a cat. And a cat will never cause me to shit my pants or need surgery. So overall, I think the cat wins this one. Did I mention I can PET it?
  2. Yes. Factually, speaking, I did once give back a kitten. But in my defense: my co-worker had found a litter in her garage and pawned them off on people for “trials” hoping we’d get attached. And the particular kitten that I got was something of an asshole. So of course I gave him back.
  3. Way ahead of you on this one. I’ve set up a lidded litter box with a swinging door, and it’s perched on a litter mat that grabs loose litter of my cat’s paws. Also? I deliberately chose a cat that matched my couches and rug so that fur would blend in. (That is: any fur that I miss during my twice-daily wipe downs.)

So now that we’ve resolved your (my) initial concerns, let me introduce…

Miss Moneypenny  © 2013 pithypants

OK, I’ll admit, her given name is “Squeaky.” And as Alan has pointed out, it’s probably ridiculous to try to rename an animal something that involves five syllables. But I think we all agree that “Squeaky” requires updating for obvious reasons. So why not go with a James Bond character?

Alan actually first suggested (to one of my co-workers, nonetheless) that we were naming her Pussy Galore. I’m sure I don’t have to explain why Miss Moneypenny seems a tad more fitting, but in case you’re slow on the up-take: because I’ve always wanted a secretary.


One step closer to becoming a crazy cat lady. Wait for it.

14 Responses to “Introducing… Miss Moneypenny!”

  1. Orange (a/k/a David) July 2, 2013 at 7:10 pm #

    So the hair matches your couch, that’s good, but now your couch-sitting clothes need to match. That’s not a problem, is it?

    • pithypants July 2, 2013 at 7:52 pm #

      Clearly you’ve never read my post about the “Turd Suit.” I knew it would come in handy one day!

      • Orange (a/k/a David) July 2, 2013 at 8:11 pm #

        Perfect! You’re set. Not only do have a new cat, but you have a custom accessory designer.

  2. shannon July 2, 2013 at 7:32 pm #

    Call it a poop garage… much better than a lidded litter box with a swinging door! Like I said before….still taking bets on what Miss Moneypenny will be for Halloween!

    • pithypants July 2, 2013 at 7:52 pm #

      I’ve decided we are going to re-do every meme on the internet, featuring her. Alan is already carving a lime to kick things off with Lime Kitty.

  3. thesinglecell July 2, 2013 at 7:43 pm #

    Before I even got to the paragraph in which this was mentioned, I had decided her name should be Pussy Galore. Nowhere in this post do you mention what possessed you to obtain a feline companion. Is it really just because you wanted something to pet? Is Alan not coming around as much these days?

    • pithypants July 2, 2013 at 7:54 pm #

      Her personality isn’t sassy enough to pull off Pussy Galore. Saving that for my next, sassy cat. Miss Moneypenny is too conscientious. And I’ve *always* wanted a pet – just couldn’t reconcile the mess of it. But as I get older, I realize life’s too short NOT to have a pet, even if it means enlisting a cleaning service to keep my house from smelling like a “poop garage” – to quote Shannon.

      • thesinglecell July 2, 2013 at 8:08 pm #

        I’ve had a cat for 14 years and my house has never smelled like a poop garage. Sometimes like a pee trailer…
        I do hate the litter box.
        Suggestion for your third cat: Eartha Kitty.

      • pithypants July 7, 2013 at 4:36 pm #

        Actually, I’m finding that the food smells worse than the poop garage. Maybe it’s reverse psychology. Smack you with it up front so it’s not so bad on the back end?

  4. Michelle July 3, 2013 at 10:17 am #

    I finally bit the bullet and got a cat this year. My hesitation was the extra hair added to what my dog sheds, and the litter box. But it’s been pretty great. I can’t blame you for giving back an asshole cat! Cats are like people that way – sometimes you’ve got to be around them a little while before you get a real understanding of what their personalities are like.

    • pithypants July 7, 2013 at 4:34 pm #

      Cats are like a box of chocolate – you don’t know what you’re getting. But that’s where the analogy stops. I don’t recommend biting a cat to see what type it is.

  5. dianeskitchentable July 6, 2013 at 12:12 pm #

    I’m allergic to cats & dogs but have 1 of each and it hasn’t killed me yet. Moneypenny’s a much better name than Pussy Galore but I give Alan credit for coming up with a great name. I’ve gotten so used to the extra hair that I don’t even notice it anymore. Whenever my husband complains about it though I point out how most of the hair on the bathroom floor is what fell out of his head. At least he’s almost bald now so that solves part of the problem. That is a good looking cat though – really nice markings.

    • pithypants July 7, 2013 at 4:33 pm #

      Fortunately, Miss Moneypenny doesn’t seem to spook by load noises, so I’m thinking I might be able to vacuum her. Just waiting for the appropriate time to try it…

      • dianeskitchentable July 8, 2013 at 11:32 am #

        I was able to do that w/one of my cats & the trick was to hide the vacuum around the corner, let her get used to the noise, then sneak up w/the brush attachment. But that was only one – the one I have now is into sponge baths.

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