Archive | 8:23 am

Election Rant #1: Undecided Voters

28 Sep

We’re almost a month away from the election. I will be THRILLED when I don’t turn on the news to hear Romney and Obama mentioned in the same sentence. And the one benefit to living in DC is that no one really courts my vote, so I can’t even imagine what the poor, undecided people of Ohio must be feeling.

That said, I’m not really sure I understand the plight of the undecided voter. Here’s how I see it…

First, there are single issue voters: Pro-Life, Anti-Taxation, Anti-Gay Marriage, Anti-Gun Control, Pro-Border Control folks. They’re decided. If one of those issues is near and dear to them, there’s no way they’re voting Obama. I get that.

Then, there are the people who follow the party line, regardless of the candidate. Dyed-in-the-Wool Republicans and Democrats who would vote for Charlie Sheen if he received the nomination. (How interesting would THAT be?)

Next, let’s assume that the other people are somewhat open-minded and independent… Oh wait, those are Liberals. We know who they’re most likely voting for.

And then you have the people who hate taxes, who believe companies and private institutions are the solution rather than government. I agree that there’s probably a more efficient way to run things, but the last time I checked, companies were more interested in cultivating their own profit than looking out for the greater interest of society. In any case, safe to assume these people will choose Romney.

So who does that leave? Amnesiacs who can’t tell you what year it is? Recently widowed women who have always taken direction from their husbands? NASA scientists living on the Space Station who haven’t seen the news in nine months?

If the election is close and it comes down to Undecided Voters, frankly, I don’t WANT them deciding our fate. That’s like convincing a college class to collectively accept whatever grade Quintin the Quarterback receives after prepping for a test with an 11th hour cram session, during which he was probably just trying to get in his tutor’s pants.

When this is how we make decisions, it’s no wonder the rest of the world thinks we’re idiots.

I think SNL got it right. Check out this sketch if you haven’t already seen it: Undecided Voter