That awkward moment when…

7 Jun

Sometime in the past year it has become popular to share a status update that begins with, “That awkward moment when…” and then recount something horribly embarrassing. Apparently it’s become so pervasive that my brain now does real-time narration of situations to let me know it’s been an awkward moment.

Or perhaps I’m just lucky enough to always find myself in awkward situations, and I now have a catch-phrase for it. In any case, without further ado, here’s my list from just THIS WEEK:

That awkward moment when your male boss walks out of the women’s room. And you realize the bathroom is actually mislabeled and you’ve been peeing in the men’s room for three months.

[Smack your head moment: So THAT’S why the toilet seat is always up!]

That awkward moment when everyone is trying to pinpoint where the “patchouli” smell is coming from and after proclaiming that you HATE patchouli because it reminds you of stoners who don’t shower, someone produces your new vial of perfume and says, “FOUND IT!” 

Perhaps I should start smoking weed. 

That awkward moment when you’re surrounded by a 55 Scottish bagpipers and you realize you’re a) the only woman, b) the only American accent, and c) likely the only person wearing underwear in the room. 

Well, I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to be a minority. 

That awkward moment when someone identifies the odd smell on the elevator as BODY ODOR right as you call it out as BASIL.

Kind of makes people wonder a) what you eat for dinner and b) what your armpits smell like. Perhaps this explains my attraction to the nasty patchouli perfume? 

That awkward moment when the gap in the stall door is wide enough for you to see someone sitting on the toilet – and you realize they are praying.

True story. Happened to me in Logan Airport. Fortunately, my flight had just landed. Otherwise, I would’ve thought some jihadist was in there making her peace before getting ready to take out my plane. And I would’ve had to kick her stall in. But since I’d landed safely, I figured, “Probably just a nun pooping.”

14 Responses to “That awkward moment when…”

  1. Darlene Steelman June 7, 2012 at 5:12 am #

    haha! Thanks for a good laugh in the morning… I saw that picture before of the girl and her friend’s arm. Funny stuff. Have a great day!

    • pithypants June 7, 2012 at 9:14 am #

      I know. When that photo first made the rounds, I couldn’t see it as an arm even when I TRIED. I love whoever decided to share that.

  2. Karen June 7, 2012 at 7:44 am #

    Too many comments since I’m supposed to be working on something due by 8:30 so I’ll just say, fantastic Al. Love this collection, especially the Venn diagram.

    • pithypants June 7, 2012 at 9:13 am #

      So yours is, “That awkward moment when you realized you blew a deadline because you were reading a frivolous blog?” 🙂

  3. thesinglecell June 7, 2012 at 10:34 am #

    These things really all happened to you? This week? Really?
    Also, I feel like that Awkward Moment Arm Chick got another awkward realization: she should not wear sleeveless shirts. Sucks to be her. Now she’s That Awkward Arm Girl. When she dies, that picture will be on the posterboard at her funeral. If there are still posterboards in the future. And funerals.

    • pithypants June 7, 2012 at 10:42 am #

      You ask if they ALL happened? These are only the tame moments. I actually had to edit out two because I thought one might cause HR to shutdown my website and the other might cause my family to disassociate themselves from me.

      • thesinglecell June 7, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

        This is why I remain anonymous. Identification ruins everything.

  4. dianeskitchentable June 7, 2012 at 3:36 pm #

    In Boston we all do 2 things after getting off a plane: #1 – hit the ladies room then #2 – pray that the Tunnel isn’t going to be back up for 3 hours (which is why we hit the ladies room before heading in to town.

  5. Cakes and Shakes... June 8, 2012 at 5:06 am #

    Praying. In a toilet. The mind boggles… surely the only appropriate weird thing to do in a public restroom is contort yourself in any and every way possible in order not to make contact with any surface, thereby eliminating the risk of death by cooties? Cooties are my number one fear.

  6. Alicia June 8, 2012 at 11:16 am #

    well…you must message me the one that might cause me to disassociate from you. I like living on the edge.

  7. funnyortragic June 9, 2012 at 2:20 am #

    Once I went to Scotland, and it was a windy day when we walked by a bunch of very nice looking bagpipers. I was SO disappointed to find out they wore boxers. No cheeky view for me. 😦

    • pithypants June 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

      Actually, I think that’s a blessing. I was at the Chicago Celtic Festival one year and a LARGE, OLD man was sporting a kilt. He sat with his legs parted and a set of balls fit for a round of tetherball hung out. That’s when I learned why there’s always beer around: to clear the taste of vomit from your mouth.

      • funnyortragic June 10, 2012 at 2:41 am #

        Oh, oh…I’m going to have nightmares about that visual image.

  8. societyred June 10, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    Great post! I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award! Thank you for your great work!

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