Damn. I have to say, the Rapture was a huge disappointment.
Not that I had any expectations of being Raptured (since I’m both a skeptic and a sinner), but I was seriously hoping that some of the goody-goody-judgmental-holier-than-thou types would disappear. I guess it’s safe to say: we’re all disappointed.
I’d like to interview someone who fully expected to be Raptured today. Here’s what I imagine it sounding like:
ME: So. You’re still here. Rappy: For now. ME: What was it like, when you realized God hadn’t actually lifted you up to heaven? Rappy: I still have faith that He will. ME: Have you used your phone tree, to confirm that you’re not the only person in your circle left behind? I mean, you believe the judgement was going to happen. How do you know it hasn’t, and you just weren’t deemed worthy? Rappy: There are many ways to interpret the bible. I think we may have had our math off a bit. ME: Hmmm. So is it safe to say that you’re not good with any of the fact-based disciplines: math, science… Rappy: Huh? ME: So tell me. What did you do to prepare for the Rapture? Rappy: What do you mean? ME: I mean, did you max out your credit cards? Did you give away all your worldly posessions? Rappy: Um, no. ME: Are you shitting me? Why not? Rappy: Well, that didn’t seem very responsible. ME: So let me get this straight: you thought you were going to be lifted up by God to Heaven, and you just continued “business as usual” leading up to it? Rappy: Pretty much. I mean, I have been whittling down the supplies in my pantry over the last few months. ME: Sounds to me like you really weren’t a believer. Maybe that’s why you’re still here. Next time: try harder.Totally unrelated: I wonder how many people accidentally googled Ratpure this week. It makes me think I missed a business opportunity to launch and market a new rat poison. I guess we’re all losers when it comes to the Rapture.
pithypants 
Camping was always doomed to fail. Maths is a science, and as any true believer will tell you, God hates science.
I wouldn’t be half surprised if he was planning ‘The Rapture’ for yesterday, but as soon as Camping found the date with maths he immediately changed it.
Or, you know, the bleeding obvious.