Gray hair? What gray hair?
Exchange with Tom, my stylist, at my most recent haircut.
Me: You know, I think my hair is actually getting thicker!
Tom, after a pause: Is it also getting grayer?
Me: Yeah – there are a lot of them now.
Tom: Well… there you go.
#winning
I’ve never reposted another person’s blog post here, but in the wake of recent events, I thought this was worth sharing. We all have the ability to make the world a bit kinder. More of this, please…
Gate A-4 By Naomi Shihab Nye:
Wandering around the Albuquerque Airport Terminal, after learning my flight had been delayed four hours, I heard an announcement: “If anyone in the vicinity of Gate A-4 understands any Arabic, please come to the gate immediately.” Well— one pauses these days. Gate A-4 was my own gate. I went there.
An older woman in full traditional Palestinian embroidered dress, just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing. “Help,” said the flight agent. “Talk to her . What is her problem? We told her the flight was going to be late and she did this.”
I stooped to put my arm around the woman and spoke haltingly. “Shu-dow-a, shu-bid-uck, habibti? Stani schway, min fadlick, shu-bit-se-wee?” The minute she heard any words she knew, however poorly used, she stopped crying. She thought the flight had been cancelled entirely. She needed to be…
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I’m testing out the idea of a new contest, called “Guess What I’m Thinking.” Perhaps you guessed that from this post’s title? Then you might just want to play this game, because you’re good at it.
Also: there actually aren’t any prizes, so you just get bragging rights. (I bet I can guess what you’re thinking: No prizes? What kind of contest is this, anyway? The answer is: the awesome kind. Because who doesn’t like to brag?)
So here’s the idea. When I’m feeling lazy, instead of publishing a full post, I’ll just provide a graphic that indicates what I’m thinking of posting. If you guess correctly, it will spare me the agony of writing something up. If you invent something better that what I was thinking of posting, then we’ll all be amused AND it will spare me the agony of writing something up. And if you don’t guess or if your guesses suck, then I’ll share the real explanation and berate you for not playing my reindeer game.
Basically, I’m looking for a short-cut here. Fine, I’ll say it: I’d like to post something without having to actually write anything.
So let’s test this idea out…
This summarizes the post I’m thinking of writing. What’s it going to be about?
Ten Reasons I’m Not Interesting in Getting Married:
because the alternative just requires too much effort. (Delighted/tolerates – what’s the difference?) There’s something nice about being chosen day after day.That said, it’s somewhat ridiculous to be pushing 40, referring to Alan as my boyfriend as if we were teenagers. Or calling him my partner, only to have people wonder, “Business partner? Or is she gay?”
It irritates me that people need to assign a label to a relationship they aren’t in. Or that two people loving each other without conforming to traditional labels confuses them. Not. My. Problem.
And yet… while we aren’t willing to hop down the aisle, force friends to fly into DC for an expensive party, or sign a piece of paper saying we’ll allow a judge to determine when we’re no longer compatible, we DO want to head a lot of this nonsense off at the pass.
So we’ve exchanged rings. Not in a ceremony. Not with an audience. And not with any vows other than what we tell each other through our actions on a daily basis. But hopefully these rings help explain – without words – how we view ourselves. Regardless of what we call each other.
Please save your notes of congratulations or deep soliloquies on the topic of commitment. We’ve been here for a while. Thanks for catching up. Hopefully our rings will force a lot of well-intending people from asking when we’ll get married. Because for all the reasons expressed above: it kind of seems beside the point.
And now…
The #1 Reason I Might Regret This Decision…
Not ever getting a chance to film moments like these:
For once, I’m not going to be snarky or pithy, because Thanksgiving deserves respect. Besides, there’s a whole 48 hours of family-ness ahead of us which should provide fodder for some pithy posts. So instead, this morning I’ll just share a self-indulgent list of things I’m thankful for:
My family. I count myself as lucky every day to still have two living parents who are unconditionally supportive of my somewhat unconventional life. (Not that I live at a nudist colony or travel with a carnival or anything. I just don’t see the point of marriage and kids, so I love that they don’t guilt me about that.)
And my sister and I have become closer with age than experts would’ve thought possible when we were children, given our (almost) six year age difference. In fact, she’s the only person I know who can take a joke even farther than I can in the direction of random or perverse. Oh, and her family is fantastic too.
Proof? Here are two nuggets of wisdom from my youngest nephew, James, who is nine:
“Dad, never, ever criticize a woman’s hair. Her hair is her LIFE.”
“When I get older, I’ll use Just for Men. Until I’m 50. Then I’ll stop. Because it looks weird if your face is wrinkled and your hair isn’t gray.”
Take THOSE to the bank. (Separately, his obsession with hair is both funny and ironic, since no one in our family has “pretty” hair or actually gives two shits about it. If ever he thinks he’s adopted (he’s not), I’m sure this would be central to his argument that he’s not from our gene pool.)
Reconnecting with Old Friends. Hello! Without this one, Alan wouldn’t be in my life today. And I’m grateful that our paths crossed twice, because he’s a good yin to my yang. For all the reasons I love him, perhaps one of the most telling is that we often pass an evening with nothing more than a bottle of wine and a cribbage board. OK. So maybe Alan deserves a category of his own: I’m thankful for him.
Now back to reconnecting… Whether it’s in person or via Facebook, I feel lucky to still be in touch with people who were a central part of my life at other stages. Whether it’s childhood friends, college roommates or past colleagues (and I use that word loosely when I refer to my friends from Tripper’s Sports Bar!) – I’m thankful to have not lost track of you. And I’m grateful that old friends can just pick up where things left off, no matter how many years have passed.
My friends. You’re awesome and you know who you are. Enough said. Thanks, too, for letting me write about you on my blog without getting offended or sending me a notice about your privacy rights. That makes you double-awesome, which is kind of like a double rainbow, but without the stoned dude providing commentary. Seriously? I have the best friends in the world. Kisses to you all.
My health. So it’s been a weird year health-wise (car accident, inflatable calf, Bakers Cysts, migraines, hives) but those are the natural product of (gasp!) aging. I’ll take that. It beats the alternative. And it reminds me of my friends who have not been as lucky, but who have taught me about grace in their response to the cards they have been dealt. Thank YOU.
My freedom. You know that song from Annie Get Your Gun, that goes “Anything you can do, I can do better?” Well, that tends to be my motto. I’m thankful I live in a time and place that it CAN be my motto – that I’m not held back by a society that doesn’t allow a woman to do what she’s capable of. And that I can leave my house every day without having to duck bullets (unless I turn the wrong way on U Street!).
My job. Not only is it great to be employed, but I get to train and develop people so they’re better at their jobs. How rewarding is THAT? And I love the people I work with. They’re some of the smartest, funniest, most dedicated people a person could call colleagues. Even better? I get to call a lot of them friends.
The little things. Here’s a list of the random things that I’m thankful for: bathtubs, public libraries, food, fleece/flannel, books, technology, tampons, pillows, NPR, animals, candles, sunny days, snowstorms, fireplaces, exterminators, good wine, bacon, Advil and Dupont Circle.
My readers. Thank YOU for showing up here and reading. Even without an audience, I’d write. But having you here, providing feedback (even if it’s just in the form of a page view and not a comment) makes it rewarding. And when you DO comment? Completely makes my day. Someone recently told me her mom reads my blog, and that – even though she knows my real name – she refers to me as Pithy. So thanks, everyone, for indulging me.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
pithypants 