Tag Archives: technology

I think we’re starting to sound like old ladies.

22 Jan

When I arrived at my friend’s house for dinner this week, she opened the door clutching a remote and looking frazzled. She was trying to get music from their cable provider to play through the stereo without the television being on. “I know it’s ridiculous to let this stress me out,” she said, “But it’s completely annoying. When did it become so difficult to do something simple?”

I looked at her remote and could see the problem: it was like the Ferrari of remotes. “What all does this control?” I asked her, intimidated by its eight bazillion buttons.

“Everything,” she said. “My husband has programmed it so that everything is driven by this one remote. It probably controls me, for all I know!”

I cracked up, imagining a “Power Down Spouse” button. And then realized that most people would probably like a remote like that – something to pause their children or mute their partners.

You know technology has jumped the shark when your friend, an IT professional, is shaking a remote, saying, “When did it all get so complicated?”

HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey

Did you know? The French version of Hal was named Carl.

“I mean,” she continued, “the other day I was thinking about phones. The new iPhone has a feature that will read text messages to you. How crazy is that? We went from leaving voicemails for each other, to sending text messages to each other, to having computers read these text messages to us. It just seems like we’re ADDING steps instead of removing them.”

So true.

That has been kicking around in my head this week as more than one friend has apologized for being slow responding to me because their new year’s resolutions include technology fasts. I like it – the idea of completely unplugging one day a week to regain our power over the devices that increasingly control us.

Otherwise, we might as well start naming our children Hal. Or Carl.

A Somewhat Rambling Ode to Steve Jobs.

5 Oct

I knew Steve Jobs resigned in August for health issues, but I had no idea he was cutting it this close. The news that he died shocked me.

At first, I was sad that he had barely gotten a month of retirement under his belt before dying. That would SUCK, I thought. But then, I revised my opinion and came back with: Good for him. 

Good for him. He, who was passionate about technology? There wouldn’t be a pasture engaging enough for someone with a mind like that. It would’ve been a slow death, being killed a thousand times over, sitting on the sidelines and watching technology emerge without having a hand in it. Smart Man to work until he wasn’t able. I can appreciate that.

But that’s not what this post is about. This is about how Steve Jobs changed my life.

(more…)

How quickly we forget…

26 Sep

I was in LA all last week for work, turning in 12+ hour days while battling a cold. This week I’m off to NYC for more of the same, so I took it easy over the weekend. By which I mean: I spent all of Sunday rolling around on my couch, reading and napping, which is completely out of character for me.

Before I tell you this next part, I would like to reiterate: I was VERY tired. And I was alternating between a hard copy of Bon Appetit magazine and an iPad version of Vanity Fair, so what happened next is somewhat understandable.

Instead of turning the page of the magazine, I took my finger and slid it on the article, trying to get it to move up the page. Except, it turns out that only works on an iPad. Not on a real magazine.

As soon as I did it, I was a bit sheepish because it called to mind more than one dumb blonde technology joke: Using white out on a computer screen; Asking someone to fax over a blank piece of paper.

I am convinced: technology is making me dumber.

All lightsabers must be inspected. No exceptions.

21 Jun

This morning the airport was a typical Monday zoo. I was behind a dorky looking couple that went out of its way to engage with the TSA worker who was shouting out security checkpoint reminders.

TSA: Please remove all laptops and electronic devices and place in a plastic bin.

Dork: Tell me more about the types of electronic devices that need to come out of a bag.

TSA: Well, what do you have that you’re unsure of.

Dork: The question is what don’t I have. <Snickers with equally dorky wife>

OK. It’s not very charitable for me to label them as dorks without providing some of the indicators and parameters of dorkiness.

First, he was wearing denim shorts – also known as “jorts” (deriving from “jeans shorts”) which were last popular with non-retirees in 1991.

(Why the age-based stipulation? Because AARP members can dress however they would like without looking dorky. Or rather, it is expected that retirees give up on being trendy, just go with what’s comfortable and have earned the right to tell anyone who judges them to piss off.)

Second, he had a Bluetooth in his ear the entire time we were waiting in line (25 minutes) without actually using it to make or receive a phone call. That’s like a techie’s earring.

The TSA worker even pointed to it and said, “You’ll need to put that in the bin as well,” to which the Dork just nodded but didn’t remove it. He waited until the last possible minute to give it up, presumably because he was waiting for a VERY IMPORTANT call.

When he loaded up his bin, I was too distracted by dealing with my own stuff to notice what sorts of electronic devices he was unpacking, so I had to wait until we were on the other side of the x-ray to watch him reclaim his items.

What did he have? High-end camera equipment? Multiple laptops? iPhones aplenty? Um, no. Try Walkie-Talkies. Four of them. And one Bluetooth headset.

Dude.

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