Call me Edison. Thomas Edison.

11 Nov

I’ve come up with another invention that is genius. I just don’t know how large the audience is for it, so I’m not going to waste any time developing prototypes until I do a bit of market research. By which I mean: writing this post and seeing if anyone says, “Dude. I NEED one of those.”

So here’s the invention: A garbage disposal for your bathtub.

Admittedly, I first came up with this idea many, MANY years ago when I witnessed someone barfing in a bathtub. Initially I cringed when I thought of the clean up, and then – problem solver that I am – a lightbulb went off above my head and I thought: If only bathtubs had garbage disposals.

Imagine a world where the switch next to the tub was NOT for jacuzzi jets, but instead a disposal. Tempting, no?

Perhaps you’re struggling to see the application for any audience other than the drunken college crowd. Then clearly you haven’t used a luxurious bath bomb lately.

Bath bombs – if you’re unfamiliar – look like snowballs. Except they’re made of powdered bubble bath and they typically fizz and make your water smell nice when you drop them in a bathtub.

They’re fabulous. Except that the makers like to press things – like flower petals or grass – into them. I mean, it looks pretty, and it’s really quite novel to be taking a lemongrass soak surrounded by grass – or a rose water infusion that swims in rose petals.

But when I drain the water, it looks like I just hosed off the pruning shears in the bathtub. This, my friends, is the moment when a bathtub disposal would come in handy.

Am I onto something? Is this the next Big Thing in home design? Like wine fridges, warming drawers and soft-close drawer glides were 10 years ago?

Or am I – yet again – simply ahead of my time? It’s all right – you can tell me I’m a visionary. I won’t be offended.

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9 Responses to “Call me Edison. Thomas Edison.”

  1. thesinglecell November 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

    Hmmm… Is it bad that, when you first said “garbage disposal for your bathtub,” my thought was, “Yes! To deal with all the hair!”…? If it is, then that was totally not my first thought.

    But I do think it’s really stupid to put crap in a bath bomb that really only forces you to UN-relax when you have to contort yourself to clean out the tub.

    • pithypants November 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

      Hair! I hadn’t even thought of that. Somehow, I imagine hair would even foil a garbage disposal.

      • thesinglecell November 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm #

        Well since you can’t put celery down a garbage disposal because of its stringy qualities that get wrapped around the blades and burn out the motor, you’re probably right.

  2. John November 12, 2012 at 7:46 am #

    As requested…You’re a visionary.

    • pithypants November 12, 2012 at 9:51 am #

      Although my parents have subsequently pointed out I could solve the problem by simply putting a hair-catching basket in the drain. Less dramatic, so I’m not a fan.

  3. allenavw November 12, 2012 at 10:21 am #

    You know, that was totally on an episode of Seinfeld. Kramer starts cutting down on time cooking and bathing and combines them into one. So he gets a garbage disposal installed in his tub to cook while showering!

    • pithypants November 12, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

      So you’re saying my genius has been eclipsed by Kramer? Hmmm…

  4. Alicia November 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

    Allow me to build on that: the garbage disposal has a switch that lets you direct water into a “compost tea” rain barrel. From which you spread it on your yard or water your red worms. Also? You have so many great ideas like this, you should start a separate blog. Oh, but I’ve told you that before. You just don’t listen.

    • pithypants November 26, 2012 at 6:59 pm #

      Will you be my patent attorney and file these already? Then I won’t need a blog. I can just kick back and collect my royalties. Or whatever.

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